therookery | tonight on cops: thedas edition

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi Congealedinagutterson. Yes that's his name
RECIPIENT: Unfortunately everyone.
WHAT: Yngvi goes to check in on Gwen's dad. He tries to contact her using Asher's sending crystal before he heads to Skyhold. He ends up contacting all of Skyhold. (But Gwen's dad is trying to murder him so that can probably be forgiven.)
WHEN: Probably slightly backdated to a few days back. Timey-wimey
WHERE: Orlais; the Vauquelin estate
NOTES: Language. Dwarfing under the influence. Violence in the background. Threadjacking totally allowed!

[Here's the thing: just because Yngvi took possession of Asher Hardie's sending crystal upon Asher's death (some one had to, since someone has to stay in Skyhold to honour the fact that Asher signed them up and Yngvi is the charming one okay, most suited to that legacy) that doesn't mean Yngvi knows how to use said sending crystal.

So what's meant to be a private message to one Gwenaëlle Vauquelin becomes horribly public.]

Gwenaëlle? Is this thing-- [Okay that is a lot of angry background noise? Does it sound Orlesian? It probably sounds Orlesian.

To some who know him it might sound alarmingly like Emeric Vauquelin actually. And the frantic scramblings of a dwarf.] So here's the thing, I stopped by to see your old man, avail myself of his legendary hospitality. He's in rude health. Just wondering if you wanted anything picked up? I've got the silverware and the best brandy. By the way, what's that really dark purple colour because it's my colour I look--

[There's a very loud crash, and a truly ear-piercing shriek from the dwarf on the other end of the sending crystal.] Sir! Sir I am changing!

[[ooc: Hello welcome to Yngvi's liveblog escape from the Vauquelin estate where Gwen's dad is going to eventually try to shoot him with a crossbow. He has this completely under control.]]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Technically I would be his 'master' but we are still working out the details of titles in our guild. Suffice to say I am his mentor and employer.

[ Which explains plenty. ]

I mean to say you might bypass the man chasing you if you slip through them back to the front.

But does he work? I work. Nasir works. We work our arses off. And Amalia helps work Nasir's arse off too but that's a lot louder, usually a lot more fire if things really get going.

[So many tents have been lost because of them.]

You ever been charged down by a mabari that just lays you out flat and starts licking your face? Or some man or woman that does it because no one's taught them what to do? S'like that. But with fists. [A beat passes as Yngvi hurtles around a doorway, smacks into someone then uses them for momentum - there's a lot of Orlesian again but less angry, more surprised.] Fists in my face. That's important. The Comte and I aren't that close.

Of course he works. Simply not in the same manner that you do- with less crashing about, less fire, and less notice.

[ A stealthy creature this dwarf is not. ]

Ah, I was about to say- there is not near enough sounds of skin and oil and you are moving far too much for that to be the case.

Look this is like a one-off, a name was dropped, a man was not happy about that name. You'd think he'd let it go when Asher's dead but no, got to hold the grudge. Orlesians.

[Yngvi is Carta, okay, he can be quiet when he wants to be. He can just slip through a crowd but this is-- this is just a thing, this is also partly an Asher thing with someone who processes grief in a loud and obnoxious sort of way.]

He's my Lady's father, that's disgusting. I mean he's handsome enough for plenty of things, I've had worse to work with, but he's practically family.

[In your dreams Yngvi.]

They do tend to remain upset over things for at least a decade or so longer than most other people.

[ Oh ho, Gwen's father? This becomes more and more fascinating. ]

Ah, if that is the case I understand. Perhaps you might remind him of your familial association, appeal to his tender feelings?

Nah, Orzammar are worse. They're just down there. Neck deep stewing in their own self-righteous shit next to the Darkspawn.

[Fuckin' take that Orzammar, fuckin' savage.]

Think he tenderised the feelings in my face with his fists. I was trying to do that y'know, with tea and bringing us and a departed friend closer together. Forever. It did not go well.

One would think that for so short a people they would not wish to stoop so low.

[ Orzammar dwarves specifically. The surfacers he's met have been positively delightful by comparison. ]

So you've a few bruises to match your lovely gown? What an image.

You have no idea what they're into. You have. No. Idea.

[Yngvi does. Because Carta. Because you need to be able to blackmail them and if someone is into the fucked up and kinky shit, it's Orzammar.]

Can't keep the gown, my Lady loves the gown and I don't want to be savaged by the press.

tonight on cops: thedas edition

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