tonight on cops: thedas edition

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi Congealedinagutterson. Yes that's his name
RECIPIENT: Unfortunately everyone.
WHAT: Yngvi goes to check in on Gwen's dad. He tries to contact her using Asher's sending crystal before he heads to Skyhold. He ends up contacting all of Skyhold. (But Gwen's dad is trying to murder him so that can probably be forgiven.)
WHEN: Probably slightly backdated to a few days back. Timey-wimey
WHERE: Orlais; the Vauquelin estate
NOTES: Language. Dwarfing under the influence. Violence in the background.  Threadjacking totally allowed!

[Here's the thing: just because Yngvi took possession of Asher Hardie's sending crystal upon Asher's death (some one had to, since someone has to stay in Skyhold to honour the fact that Asher signed them up and Yngvi is the charming one okay, most suited to that legacy) that doesn't mean Yngvi knows how to use said sending crystal.

So what's meant to be a private message to one Gwenaëlle Vauquelin becomes horribly public.]

Gwenaëlle? Is this thing-- [Okay that is a lot of angry background noise? Does it sound Orlesian? It probably sounds Orlesian.

To some who know him it might sound alarmingly like Emeric Vauquelin actually. And the frantic scramblings of a dwarf.] So here's the thing, I stopped by to see your old man, avail myself of his legendary hospitality. He's in rude health. Just wondering if you wanted anything picked up? I've got the silverware and the best brandy. By the way, what's that really dark purple colour because it's my colour I look--

[There's a very loud crash, and a truly ear-piercing shriek from the dwarf on the other end of the sending crystal.] Sir! Sir I am changing!

[[ooc: Hello welcome to Yngvi's liveblog escape from the Vauquelin estate where Gwen's dad is going to eventually try to shoot him with a crossbow. He has this completely under control.]]]

Comments

[rowancrowned]

[ elven popcorn.gif ]

I would be utterly enchanted to hear the story of how you met the Lady Gwenaëlle at a later date, assuming you survive the attentions of the Comte.

[elegiaque]

( very abruptly; )

No!

[rowancrowned]

Extremely enchanted. Enough to pledge a full bottle of wine and a meal for during the telling, was it- Yngvi?

[ now, he's curious about the masculine voice in the background. ]

I assume that is your father, my lady?

[elegiaque]

Maybe. I don't know.

( yes.

she's in so much trouble yngvi why are you so bad at making things private!!! )

1/2

[rowancrowned]

You do not know the sound of your own father's voice?

[ a slow exhale, and then- ]

private ;

[rowancrowned]

Is he in genuine trouble?

private ;

[elegiaque]

Not if he's quick enough. But -

( he can probably just hear the face she's making. meanwhile, lex can probably hear this entire conversation, sitting beside her as he is - )

You wouldn't credit it, I know, but my lord might well beat seven kinds of hell out of him if he catches up.

private ;

[rowancrowned]

Is he quick? The brandy will not be helping that.

[ hello, lex. it is thranduil, gwen's tol elf. ]

I do not doubt your father's prowess. I am curious as to why he might dub this Man a threat. Surely he had the sense to introduce himself before going through the silverware?

private ;

[elegiaque]

Yes, that - won't have helped.

( SUCH RESIGNATION )

private ;

[rowancrowned]

No, I think not.

[ considering approx how much he wants to get involved... ]

How far is the estate from Halamshiral? If the Inquisition were to need to send a scout to bring him back?

private ;

[elegiaque]

Too far to get there promptly enough. You know -

I'm sure he'll be fine.

private ;

[rowancrowned]

Of course, my lady. He seems the hearty sort.

private ;

[elegiaque]

He's very fast.

[inagutterson]

[Well he's going to give your weird tree the back of his hand so who's winning?]

What's that s'posed to mean, who are you, everything is fine, everything is absolutely-- [Something has been hurled at a door. That's what that very jarring thud in the background is.] Situation normal. The Comte is in rude health. Not that it's any of your business stranger.

[rowancrowned]

[ can he even reach tho??? ]

The tale seems like it would be entertaining, Thranduil, [ neatly pacing himself through the barrage of questions. ] and-- I consider it my business, when such a delightful thing is broadcast to all those with crystals.

There is a function for locking them to a single person, my friend.

[inagutterson]

[He climbs like a goat. Like all small things that wish to be tall.]

Oh you're that weird elf she knows. [Usually Yngvi is more concerned with just clattering around the fringes of Gwen's life in bear pelts but he keeps up to date. Should he need to escalate anything.] D'you really want to know? I'll tell you.

And I'm grieving by the way so that's rude. Also not your friend, mate.

[elegiaque]

Absolutely do not tell him!

[inagutterson]

Am I not telling him the story about how you were being accosted by dirty urchin children and I saved you by setting a rabid nug on them? Because that's a really good story but maybe it's better in person.

[A beat.]

I have a nug.

[Beat the Second: Beat Harder.]

I have many nugs.

[elegiaque]

Where did you get all those nugs. What are you doing with them.

[inagutterson]

That'd ruin the surprise but it's going to be brilliant. Very stylish. Newest trend in Orlais, I guarantee, Orzammar will be livid when they eventually find out since they'd have to swallow their pride to do it.

[elegiaque]

We already had a nug trend. What are you about, Yngvi!

[inagutterson]

You'll want to write about it, trust me. It's going to be just that good.

[You can hear the eyebrow action, there's a lot of intense eyebrow waggling going down over here.

Or that could be the impending concussion who knows.]

[rowancrowned]

I am pleased my reputation proceeds me, and I would. She seems to attract all manner of people.

My condolences for your loss, ser. Please continue with your grieving.

[inagutterson]

I'm the best of them so don't forget it, I'm pedigreed.

[Spoiler: he literally does not know what that word means but he had to steal dog breeding contracts once for something and Fereldans talk about it so he knows that it's important.]

Wait do I need your permission? Where do you get off on giving me permission?

[He's going to slap that tree so hard. Take that tree.]

[rowancrowned]

[ yep, thranduil's just laughing. you've warmed his cold, old heart. ]