EMERGENCY QUERY

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: A matter of life or death
WHEN: Wibbly wobbly timey wimey
WHERE: Everywhere
NOTES: Fuzzy art

So. Inquisition.

[ It's been a few hours since he was traumatized by the sudden appearance of a fuzzy painting of the late Cailan Theirin's overly familiar face, by now, so Alistair doesn't sound too rattled. A little rattled, maybe. But not too. ]

Burning art—does that make you a bad person?

[ Follow up-questions: ]

What if it's really bad art?

What if it's really bad art of a dead king you owe some degree of allegiance to?

--and whoever did this, I'll get you.

Comments

[byblow]

I didn't find it. Someone left it in my bed.

[fledglingenchanter]

So... you want to burn a gift?

[byblow]

I want to burn a monstrosity.

[fledglingenchanter]

It can't be that bad.

[byblow]

It can be. It really can be.

He looks like he's swallowed something horrible or begun to turn into a dog or--something. It's uncomfortable. And it's fuzzy.

[fledglingenchanter]

If it is such an affront to your sensibilities, then burn it. Unless you want someone else to light it on fire for you?

[byblow]

I just want to know it won't make me a bad person. Or a bad Fereldan.

[fledglingenchanter]

Well, if it puts the former king in a bad light, perhaps setting it on fire would be doing a civic duty?

[byblow]

That's a good point. I like the way you think.

Does it matter if he thought they were good, do you think? If he had them commissioned himself.

[fledglingenchanter]

If it's a truly hideous artwork of him, you'd be doing him a final service in removing it from existence.

[byblow]

True. True. Maybe if I'm respectful and ceremonial about it. I could build a little pyre.

[fledglingenchanter]

Will there be a wake as well?

[byblow]

It would only be right.

And then scattering the ashes somewhere nice. Maybe onto the face of whoever gave it to me.

[fledglingenchanter]

You must really hate that painting.

[byblow]

I hate that someone gave it to me.

And it's terrible, yes. It isn't how he should be remembered.

[fledglingenchanter]

Sounds like you don't need much incentive then to give it up for target practice then. I'm sure if it is truly as hideous as you say it is, I'm sure it would help to improve some mage's aim with a fireball very quickly.