crystal

[thereneverwas]

FORM: crystal
SENDER: Barrow
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch at large
NOTES: Warning for addiction & medical chat, will update for anything else.

Good morning, Riftwatch.

[Barrow is all business, perhaps in an effort to bulldoze through what’s otherwise an uncomfortable topic:]

Just wanted to give you all fair warning that I’ll be out of commission for an… unknown duration of time— short hopefully— as I work my way off lyrium.

If you have need of anything to do with the training yard or the siege weaponry, you can speak to Jayce Talis in my stead. And I suppose if… you have any logistical questions, you can ask the head healer, Stephen Strange.

[he falls silent a moment, awkwardly unsure if more needs saying, then:]

Um. That’s all.

Comments

[cozen]

I can quit any time I want.

[ Also, of secondary importance, ]

Good luck, Barrow.

[bouchonne]

I'm glad you don't. I know you'd leave me if I weren't so devilishly good at sourcing The Beans.

[cozen]

Oh, is that what we're calling it now?

[thereneverwas]

Thanks, mate.

…mates. [both of yas]

[cozen]

Only one of us can be your mate. You need to choose.

[thereneverwas]

Bollocks. [scoff]

Got mates for days.

[cozen]

Yeah, yeah, and that's fine. You can have as many as you want. You can have mates for weeks.

But of Byerly and me, you only get one. Everyone has to be either his friend or my friend. It is less confusing for us this way.

[thereneverwas]

Gonna have to sort that out between the two of you, I suppose.

[bouchonne]

Come now. Fereldan solidarity!

[thereneverwas]

No, no. I’ll not be a homewrecker. [this time]

[cozen]

The Fereldan solidarity is there, By. It is the reason why he did not immediately choose me. The only reason.

[bouchonne]

Hold on, there. As much as I’d love to spend time on why you’re wrong - are we not going to call out our resident wife-seducer on his lies?

[thereneverwas]

Listen, it’s been a while. I’m a different man now.

[there aren’t any wives to seduce]

[bouchonne]

Says Thedas' foremost bastard-sirer.

[thereneverwas]

[a cheery laugh,]

Maker, wouldn’t that be something.

[bouchonne]

I can't imagine there aren't a few handsome peasant lads running around in your image. A virile adventurer like you.

[thereneverwas]

Peasants! Not if I went about it right.

You’ve been talking to your husband, it would seem.

[cozen]

Hey, don't call me that.

[ Husbands are not cool and bohemian. ]

But thank you for the tip on how to fool you better next time.

[thereneverwas]

You’re just worried I’m going to steal him.

[cozen]

That's true. I'm terrified.

[ They are so far off the subject it is no longer visible on the horizon. But maybe it's good to give Barrow other things to think and talk about in the midst of it all. ]

[bouchonne]

Don't sound sarcastic. I'd absolutely leave you for Barrow. Have you seen him?

[thereneverwas]

You're getting me cigarettes, too. Perhaps it's time I swept you off your feet.

[anything but thinking about the topic at hand]

[cozen]

[ Breezily: ] My revenge will be swift and devastating.

[bouchonne]

This is getting better and better!

[thereneverwas]

[loudly, obliviously,] What’s your fav’rite flower, Byerly?