crystal;

[grindset]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Viktor
RECIPIENT: all
NOTES: crowdsourcing ideas For Science. strongly encourage hijacking/chaos/making it weird.

Good afternoon. This is not an urgent message. If you're engaged in anything serious, please accept our apologies for the interruption... and... and be safe, wherever you are.

[This is not a common voice to hear over the crystals—nor does the speaker emerge from Research's rooms very often, at that. In fact, even after a year and a half, there may yet be some people he's never really spoken to. He sounds slightly nervous, somewhat less so as he goes on:]

But those who can spare a moment... you are invited to imagine, [softly clearing his throat,] to imagine a ship... only, unlike the ships you might have seen to date, this one was built to traverse the sky. And this flying ship, it is yours—and now, you must finish outfitting it. Add any contrivance or convenience you might wish, whether practical or extravagant, for personal comfort or professional efficiency. Cost is of trivial concern, and the laws of physics yield to your every whim. Whatever you imagine can be realized.

So... what do you add to it? What does it do?

Comments

[elegiaque]

Well, it needs a good figurehead.

[grindset]

Ah, yes... to embody the vessel's character, if I'm not mistaken.

[extortionate]

With big tits, [ pause ] For visibility.

[extortionate]

Bird-grinder.

[grindset]

I'm sorry, did you say— did you say bird-grinder?

[cozen]

[ He has been waiting for this moment for YEARS. ]

A cage or some kind of window that is not as fragile as glass to the bottom, or the front—it is strategic, non? To be able to see what is happening directly below you, if it is used for surveillance or in combat? [ Not only for lying down and pretending to be flying unassisted. ] And purely for fun— [ unlike the cage/window which we must reiterate is strategic and not about pretending to fly! ] —I think one could build something like a pianoforte, except it lifts glass bottles into the wind to make them whistle.

Enchanted heating. It is awfully cold up there—

[ or it was in the highly realistic dream of a future in which he helped steal and rockily land an airship ]

—and a lot of fire seems like it would be an even worse idea than it is on the water.

I assume you are already giving some thought to whatever the airborne equivalent of a dinghy would be, if it were to go down. Those should be equipped with elfroot or something else to calm people down if they are, say, very afraid of heights but have been forced by circumstance onto this flying ship despite that.

[grindset]

Ehh, yes... yes, of course.

[Writing furiously, elfr –> f.a. kit—these notes are going to be fun to decipher later—]

You seem to have given this plenty of thought... has this subject been raised before?

[panulus]

A port to jettison annoying travelers.

[grindset]

Mm-hm, [sounds like he's jotting that down.]

And the passengers you find less annoying—anything for them?

[dissolving]

Spot to rest for the griffins pulling it. They can do shifts.

[grindset]

A mobile eyrie... I wonder what they would think of that. And of towing a ship, for that matter.

[portalling]

A mini-bar. There’s nothing I love more than sipping cocktails on a plane, handed to me by a charming stewardess; the drinks hit a little harder because of the altitude.

[ Wait, was there supposed to be a practical purpose and not just the sending crystal equivalent of shitposting— ]

For, y’know, calming people’s nerves if they’re nervous fliers. It might be a little cheaper than elfroot.

[grindset]

Much heavier, though.

[After a beat,] We had sky bars at home. As I recall, at least one such enterprise used that line as their gimmick—the nervous flier.

[charmoffensive]

A button or a lever that'll make it go fast. In case of emergency, or just for fun.

[grindset]

That's precisely what I would include.

[He sounds very pleased.]

We could even enable it to move in bursts of instantaneous travel. After all, if mages can do it, why not the vehicles they occupy?

[armd]

(Sighing.) Rooms with no windows.

[pathlit]

Done. What else?

[roseandthorns]

Hello. Thank you for your inquiry. As requested, I shall respond. I believe a training room with a 1km track, stationary weights, ropes, and a rock wall would be quite beneficial to improving morale and keeping up with necessary daily training. Also, a kitchen with the food's macro and micronutrients, kilocalorie count, and protein percentage clearly being labeled. This is all. Thank you again for your inquiry. How do I turn this thing off--

[grindset]

[This inspires his eyebrows to reach a new altitude.]

You can disable it the same way it was activated. That same twisting motion. But, before you go, ehh... out of curiosity... how large were you imagining this vessel to be?

[notathreat]

Rockets. With extra thrusters. For going into space.

Also space suits, gravity beams, and ray guns.

[Ellie may have misunderstood the assignment.]

[pathlit]

Are you speaking from experience?

[ There is a note of curious awe in his voice. ]

[sprent]

"Our" apologies? Is there a team of you working on this?

[pathlit]

Uh huh. Hey, Gela. Yeah, so right now it's Madame de Fonce, Viktor and me, but once we get a prototype off the ground, we'll need to rope in more help.

[muckspout]

[A great deal of time has passed (but not as long as oh say exactly 17 days) as if a great deal of thought has gone into this response. Said in a hushed voice.]

a swimming pool.

[grindset]

[This brings a little smile to the surface; he tries to angle it away from those in the room around him.]

How big?