Crystal

[youwonscience]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Cosima
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch generally
NOTES: Nothing specific, but the vibes are bad

Hi, everyone. I'm sorry to have to do this again so soon, but I've been pretty thorough about checking and it seems like Provost Stark has vanished. [Clearly in the way Rifters do; if he'd just gone into Kirkwall and never come back, her tone would certainly be different.]

As his assistant, I'll be filling in as best I can until the organization has picked a new head of Research. I was still kind of getting a handle on his system, but, you know. We'll work it out.

I know we don't have a like ... formal process for this, as we just discussed. [Too recently.] But if anyone wants to have a drink and talk about it. Or not talk about it. I'm around for that too. Standing offer, even if you and I don't know each other as well as we knew him.

You can find me in the Research office for now. If I'm not there, I'll have my crystal on me.

Comments

[youwonscience]

Yeah. Seconded.

[notathreat]

Fuck.

Right before Satinalia, too.

[youwonscience]

Oh fuck, I didn't even think.

[So caught up in the massive amount of logistics.]

[notathreat]

I give us a pass for thinking right now.

[She laughs, ruefully. Hurting.]

[youwonscience]

Probably fair.

Always sucks a little extra to lose someone at the holidays.

[notathreat]

Is it better or worse that I hadn't thought of a gift for him yet?

[youwonscience]

Uh. Maybe better. [A rueful laugh.] I already got him something and now like ... do I keep it? Give it away? I can't give it to someone else for the holiday, that feels wrong.

[notathreat]

Maybe hang onto it. At least until you find a good use for it. Or someone who'd appreciate it, down the line.

[Saying it feels trite and wrong. She trails off.]

... it's just like him. Pulling off a big, crazy miracle. Saving the world. Before- this.

I really want to be mad at him.

[youwonscience]

I get that.

[It's not like it's an unusual reaction, or one she can't sympathize with.]

I'll probably save being mad at him for if he just turns up again one day, saying Berkeley, you ruined my system.

[Mostly a quiet joke, though she's proof that it's not impossible.]

[notathreat]

[Ellie exhales in a way that might be a laugh, might be the edge of her fighting tears.]

Asshole.

[youwonscience]

Right? Let's beat him up.

[A little wetly despite the joke.]

[notathreat]

[Ellie laughs under her breath, weakly.]

Y'know, one time he came up while I was doing target practice and just told me to shoot him. No build-up. I think he's the only one I wouldn't fuckin' hesitate for.

Another time he lent me his special climbing gloves and gear. Not for a mission or anything. Just so I could impress Clarisse, before we started dating.

[youwonscience]

He was the first person I saw after I ... after Granitefell.

[It's not her only important memory of Tony, but it's the one that feels closest to the surface right now.]

He could be an asshole sometimes, but he was a solid guy where it counted.

[notathreat]

Glad for that. We were all kinda a mess.

[Ellie sighs, slowly.]

I know what you mean. Remember when we were bug-bombing the place and we had to all sleep in the dining hall? I had a really shitty nightmare. He was the one to talk me down because he realized I couldn't like... breathe.

[It's a vulnerable thing to admit, but it was also one of the very first times someone had really gotten it.]

[youwonscience]

Panic attacks are no joke, [a bit softer.] That was good of him.

Look, if you want to ... I'm going to be sorting stuff in the office for a while. But if you're around later, maybe I could find you and we could have a drink about it?

[notathreat]

Sounds good to me.

Or if you need an extra set of hands, I could help you sort stuff? Unless you'd rather do that part alone.

[youwonscience]

...if you've got the time, I could use the company, [after a brief pause.] It's not a full-on mess or anything, but overseeing a fourth of Riftwatch means he had a lot going on. But it's not urgent or anything.

[notathreat]

I think everything's gonna be a mess for a while. [Including them.] But yeah, I'd like that.