crystal | psa

[biggame]

FORM: Crystal of Sending
SENDER: Xiomara
RECIPIENT: All
NOTES: No OOC character intros we die like men. (Cw vague threats of animals eating pets.)

I have—

[ I have echoes oddly in the background. Other people's crystals. ]

That is not what I sound like. That isn't—put it away. That's awful. Is that what I sound like?

[ All of this also echoes, so close together that it’s more a disconcerting acoustic largeness than a proper cave-like echo. ]

Go away. Or I'll go away.

[ She is going away, leaving her companions and their crystals behind. ]

I have an announcement, Riftwatch. I have just arrived and my bear, [ just in time for Chantry visits, ] is in your garden. The little one with the three trees. It's only until I find somewhere else for him to stay, but for now: beware of bear.

He should be nice as long as you do not surprise him. And if you carry something in your pockets to toss him if he needs a distraction, that is not a bad idea. He likes sugar and lizards.

He might also like snack-sized dogs. I don’t know. I haven’t tried. But if you like yours I would not take them there right now, to be safe.

That's all! Now someone tell me if this worked.

Comments

crystal;

[foolsmakeitcolder]

So, how big is "snack-sized" for this bear? And how's he feel about wolves?

[biggame]

He feels wolves are scrawny and needy, [ is her best guess, delivered with authority, ] and snack-sized is rat-sized. Anything else he will think about for long enough for you to rescue, probably.

[foolsmakeitcolder]

Oh yeah, typical bear. Little buddy won't be a problem out there. I'll warn the dogs.

crystal;

[notathreat]

Okay, one: that is awesome, and two, what's his name?

[biggame]

Thank you.

[ Neatly. It is awesome. ]

His name is Caballero.

[notathreat]

Aww. You think he'd like sausages and stuff? The griffons get snacks, but theirs is like, breakfast meat.

[delven]

It worked. [ she chimes in. Another woman, a Kirkwall accent with just the very faintest hint of an echo in the background, as if someone is talking in the hall or perhaps the next room over. ]

And he's really a lovely bear, everyone. If anyone tries to fight him or evict him we'll be extremely cross. Or if anyone gives him anything sticky to eat, that would be almost as bad.

[biggame]

[ Gone distant, reminiscing on a horror: ]

The grape jam day.

[delven]

[ An even more dramatic tone of horror: ]

The grape jam day.

Also, that time he misjudged the structural integrity of that bee tree.

[luaithre]

[ The fuck.

Is this his area of concern, from a security standpoint? Can it be, if not? ]

How did he take to the ferry?

[delven]

He liked it better than she did. And much more than the ferryman.

[luaithre]

Mm.

[ Assessing His Options. ]

He's tame, then? The bear.

[laruetheday]

Does he fight? Like, are you going to send him into battle?

[ The bear. Obviously. ]

[biggame]

[ Instantly unimpressed (sorry). She is too cool, in her own opinion, to say he's her baby in exactly those words, but: ]

I used to feed him with a bottle.

[ Way cooler. Nailed it. ]

[laruetheday]

Okay? Someone used to feed me from a bottle too, but it never stopped anyone from sending me into battle.

[ To be fair, it wasn't her mom, though.

But seriously, what's the point in having a pet bear if you're not going to slap some custom armor on him and send him off to slaughter your enemies? ]

[armd]

Uh, why?

(Hello?)

[delven]

Why what?

[armd]

Why are we leaving a bear in our garden. (Is it the best place for a bear, be reasonable.)

[incaenstrix]

Um - who are you, Messere? If it's not - rude of me to ask.

[biggame]

I,

[ with the distinct air of someone delighted to be asked, actually, ]

am Xiomara Asaaranda Novoa, Lord of Fortune. Who are you?

[incaenstrix]

Um - Tertia.

[ With the distinct air of one who's flustered to be asked. ]

Where's Fortune? I've never heard of that.

[elegiaque]

How is he with dogs that keep getting accused of being bear-sized?

[biggame]

Competitive.

[ Delivered with as much authority as if he'd told her so himself. ]

No, he won't tangle with it. I keep him too well fed for him to want to fight anything his own size for a bite. But he won't want to play, either. And if it scares him—

[ Air sucked through her teeth. ]

[dastardly]

[You've heard of why is there a bear, now prepare yourself for:]

How is it that, ah, there is a bear?

hi sorry I missed this in all the other tags somehow!!!

[biggame]

You want me to explain how baby bears are made?