crystal.

[cozen]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Mmhph.

Bonjour, mes compatriotes. I have a few things.

The Hangman's Papers, I hope you have all seen—it was not my idea, so I am allowed to say that I think it is a brilliant one. If you want to write something, I am the one you should bring it to—

I am Bastien, if you are new. I am up in the Jeshavis office.

Secondly, I have been thinking about putting together an anthology of legends and tales from rifters' worlds. I've spoken to some individuals about it, but they keep disappearing. Vous savez comment c'est. But the bedtime stories that you grew up with, or the condensed plot of a book you have loved. They would need to be edited and annotated, of course. The purpose would be to underscore the similarities in themes and values and make sure they are relatable under the unfamiliar names and places, to show you are ultimately not that strange, so—if you are that strange, you might need to tone it down, [ he says, with all affection. ]

I am open to being told it would be a disaster. But I have something else that a publisher is going to want very much, that might be leveraged to convince them to take on something more risky in the bargain, so now would be the time.

Third, if you are good at fighting in close quarters, or if you are trying to learn to be good at it, I could use some help with something. You are a given, Yseult, [ in the shifting tone of a personal aside, ] but I can only impose on you so often.

And last, I promise: I am handling our trade negotiations for supplies for the time being, so if there is anything you find to be of poor quality, say so, and I will—you know. Probably tell you it is the best we can afford. But maybe not.

Comments

[notathreat]

You asked. Fine. If anybody knows it feel free to join in.

[And just for that:]

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

He's making a list
And checking it twice,
Gonna find out
Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

He sees you when you're sleepin',
He knows when you're awake,
he knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake.

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

lol @ the link

[cozen]

[ While she sings, Bastien's face takes a silent, unseen journey, because it's not what he was expecting.

When she's done he claps and says, ] You really do have a lovely voice, Ellie. [ Most important. Second most: ] And with some tweaking that could be a song about the return of the Maker.

[ That does not mean it isn't creepy. It means the opposite. ]

a classic

[notathreat]

You're sweet. We gotta play again sometime-

[-and Ellie makes a noise akin to a verbal shudder.]

Okay, gross. Maybe we should leave that out of the anthology just in case they get ahold of it.

[cozen]

No, we have to include it.

We can add some context.

[notathreat]

Yeah, I guess there's that...

-anyway. I think a bunch of Rifters know about Santa Claus. It was a thing in the old world, you know?

[grindset]

Do we even want to know what happens when he arrives?

[notathreat]

He lands on your roof with his sleigh pulled by flying reindeer, breaks into your house by coming down the chimney, eats all your cookies, drinks all your milk, and leaves the kids toys. If they've been good.

If they've been bad he leaves them coal. Which I never really understood.

I mean, more than all the rest of it.

[grindset]

That's... concerning... but unexpectedly mundane for someone with claws in his name.

[notathreat]

Yeah, he's supposed to be "jolly" or whatever that means.

It always sounded super creepy to me. Half the old world traditions are insane. They used to have ice cream in trucks.

[sprent]

(A round of applause follows!

And,) What's he keepin' the list for?

[notathreat]

I guess there's a list of nice kids and a list of naughty ones?

Which also makes no sense. You can be nice and still give adults hell.

[sprent]

But what does he do with the information of who is nice, or not? He just wants to know? And how does he measure somethin' like that?

[notathreat]

Not sure. It was kinda before my time.

It's just a story, Gela. Y'know, like a fairy tale.

[sprent]

Oh, (understanding suddenly,) like Bad Children All Get Eaten.

[notathreat]

What? No. Eaten by what?

[sprent]

Yes, Ellie!

Beware my children loud and mean,
Make sure you keep your faces clean,
Help your parents 'round the house,
Be small and silent like a mouse, (she stops, suddenly,) You don't know it!

[notathreat]

Of course I don't know it- what-

[Concerned!]

[sprent]

(Let's skip ahead then, she doesn't need every verse.)

If you do not follow rules,
Like wiping faces hands and shoes,
You'll invoke a giant's ire,
They'll cook your flesh upon the fire!

(JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS)

[cozen]

[ In the background, a mysterious perpetual eavesdropper joins in to quietly harmonize, with a very good imitation of a southern Marcher's accent. ]

[notathreat]

Okay, giants?

[sprent]

Yes, (was she listening??) That's why you have to be good an' quiet, otherwise you're eaten.

[notathreat]

Like gigantic fucking clickers, okay. Okay.

[sprent]

Clickers?

[notathreat]

A monster. From back home. They can't see so they use sounds to find you if you don't stay still and quiet.

[sprent]

Oh! Then yes, like clickers. But you're pretty safe from giants here.