book.

[cozen]

FORM: Enchanted books!
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Bad medicine.

[ Copied into the enchanted books verbatim, in slow and painstakingly neat print, from an Orlesian gazette: ]

If you have spoken to a surgeon who knows anything in the last twenty years, you will have been told that a balance of the four humors is essential to good health. But did you know that an excess of black or yellow bile, blood, or phlegm can affect your manner just as much as your health? It can! Unbalanced humors may unbalance your personality, drive away your friends, and ruin your life. Answer these questions to discover which of the humors is at greatest risk of dominating your temperament.

1. Which constellation calls to your heart?

A. Satinalis, the Celebrant
B. Fulmenos, the Thunderbolt
C. Perquauialus, the Voyager
D. Elvia, the Sacrifice


2. At the last social gathering you attended, you…

A. Organized the other attendees to play your favorite parlor game or learn your favorite dance.
B. Engaged in a heated debate with someone whose politics were intolerably misinformed.
C. Found someone looking at a painting and spent the entire evening speaking to them about it.
D. Sat next to someone who was crying in the corner so they would not be alone.


3. The problems in your life…

A. Are minor and do not bother you very much.
B. Must be solved with decisive action.
C. Must be solved with careful thought.
D. Probably cannot be solved at all.


4. You are most proud of…

A. Your reputation and verve.
B. Your courage and independence.
C. Your ideals and compassion.
D. Your loyalty and consistency.


5. On your deathbed, you would feel the greatest regret if you...

A. Were alone and unknown.
B. Had accomplished nothing.
C. Had created nothing.
D. Were inconveniencing your children by dying.


6. During which season do you feel most at peace?

A. Spring
B. Summer
C. Autumn
D. Winter


[ In the mess of commentary beneath and around this, descriptions eventually appear: ]

Your personality tends to be choleric, dominated by yellow bile. Excessively choleric personalities are hardy, headstrong, and hot-headed, with a tendency to be blunt and overbearing. While your forthright manner and willingness to make difficult decisions may serve you well, be careful not to bully your friends and acquaintances.

---

Your personality tends to be sanguine, dominated by blood. Excessively sanguine personalities are sociable, impulsive, and unpredictable, with a tendency to be chaotic and capricious. While your charisma and energy may serve you well, be careful not to be so flighty and unreliable that your friends abandon you.

An interesting note, however: sanguine personalities who prefer summers are often found to be much more reliable people, with gorgeous eyes and an overflow of musical talent.

---

Your personality tends to be melancholic, dominated by black bile. Excessively melancholic personalities are idealistic, sensitive, and cautious, with a tendency to hold the world and other people to high standards. While your thoughtfulness and sense of justice may serve you well, be careful not to alienate your friends by being unaccepting of their flaws.

---

Your personality tends to be phlegmatic, dominated by phlegm. Excessively phlegmatic personalities are patient, unexcitable, and loyal, with a tendency to despise conflict and change, which they feel creates unnecessary problems. While your trustworthiness and even hand may serve you well, be careful not to let your stoicism and passivity become aloof indifference to your friends and acquaintances.

[ It's very scientific. ]

Comments

[notathreat]

[Ellie circles his please.]

Everything's wrong except the loyalty part. I got kicked out of more than one military preparatory academy as a kid.

[cozen]

Très rebelle. Kicked out for what?

[notathreat]

Fighting, insubordination, running away. Stealing. I would have been in for conspiring with a "known terrorist group", if I'd gotten caught.

[As a kid, she said.]

[cozen]

Ah. Little things.

[ That's sarcasm. ]

Why the quotes? Were they not terrorists?

[notathreat]

[Little things!]

The military called them terrorists, they called themselves rebels. In the end the people in Boston were the ones caught in the middle.

[cozen]

That is the way it goes in every world, I suppose.

Did you really conspire with them?

[notathreat]

Depends on who you ask, doesn't it?

My best friend defected and joined them. I snuck out to see her.

[cozen]

Gutsy.

What happened after you were kicked out?

[notathreat]

I didn't give them the chance to kick me out.

A lot of things.

[...]

I joined up with some smugglers to get out of the city, and learned how to really fight.