book.

[cozen]

FORM: Enchanted books!
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Bad medicine.

[ Copied into the enchanted books verbatim, in slow and painstakingly neat print, from an Orlesian gazette: ]

If you have spoken to a surgeon who knows anything in the last twenty years, you will have been told that a balance of the four humors is essential to good health. But did you know that an excess of black or yellow bile, blood, or phlegm can affect your manner just as much as your health? It can! Unbalanced humors may unbalance your personality, drive away your friends, and ruin your life. Answer these questions to discover which of the humors is at greatest risk of dominating your temperament.

1. Which constellation calls to your heart?

A. Satinalis, the Celebrant
B. Fulmenos, the Thunderbolt
C. Perquauialus, the Voyager
D. Elvia, the Sacrifice


2. At the last social gathering you attended, you…

A. Organized the other attendees to play your favorite parlor game or learn your favorite dance.
B. Engaged in a heated debate with someone whose politics were intolerably misinformed.
C. Found someone looking at a painting and spent the entire evening speaking to them about it.
D. Sat next to someone who was crying in the corner so they would not be alone.


3. The problems in your life…

A. Are minor and do not bother you very much.
B. Must be solved with decisive action.
C. Must be solved with careful thought.
D. Probably cannot be solved at all.


4. You are most proud of…

A. Your reputation and verve.
B. Your courage and independence.
C. Your ideals and compassion.
D. Your loyalty and consistency.


5. On your deathbed, you would feel the greatest regret if you...

A. Were alone and unknown.
B. Had accomplished nothing.
C. Had created nothing.
D. Were inconveniencing your children by dying.


6. During which season do you feel most at peace?

A. Spring
B. Summer
C. Autumn
D. Winter


[ In the mess of commentary beneath and around this, descriptions eventually appear: ]

Your personality tends to be choleric, dominated by yellow bile. Excessively choleric personalities are hardy, headstrong, and hot-headed, with a tendency to be blunt and overbearing. While your forthright manner and willingness to make difficult decisions may serve you well, be careful not to bully your friends and acquaintances.

---

Your personality tends to be sanguine, dominated by blood. Excessively sanguine personalities are sociable, impulsive, and unpredictable, with a tendency to be chaotic and capricious. While your charisma and energy may serve you well, be careful not to be so flighty and unreliable that your friends abandon you.

An interesting note, however: sanguine personalities who prefer summers are often found to be much more reliable people, with gorgeous eyes and an overflow of musical talent.

---

Your personality tends to be melancholic, dominated by black bile. Excessively melancholic personalities are idealistic, sensitive, and cautious, with a tendency to hold the world and other people to high standards. While your thoughtfulness and sense of justice may serve you well, be careful not to alienate your friends by being unaccepting of their flaws.

---

Your personality tends to be phlegmatic, dominated by phlegm. Excessively phlegmatic personalities are patient, unexcitable, and loyal, with a tendency to despise conflict and change, which they feel creates unnecessary problems. While your trustworthiness and even hand may serve you well, be careful not to let your stoicism and passivity become aloof indifference to your friends and acquaintances.

[ It's very scientific. ]

Comments

[cozen]

Your what?

[armd]

Our

(A moment's pause in which she Realises, and then her handwriting appears again at a rapid pace, quick and bunched up,) It's a thing where I came from. Takes the date and month you were born and matches that up with a constellation that determines your personality and goals and who you're compatible with, shit like that.

It's stupid.

[cozen]

Stupid? It sounds wonderful. Do you know enough about it that we could make a questionnaire?

[armd]

It doesn't mean anything though. You can't judge what somebody's personality is like from what month they were born in, that doesn't make any sense.

Not really. It's kinda tricky cuz the months are different here. You'd have to make stuff up that match with constellations above Thedas...

[cozen]

[ Briefly setting aside the prospect of inventing (or digging up? maybe Tevinter has done it) a Thedosian zodiac, ]

Judging people is not really the point, I think. Letting people think about themselves, and talk about themselves, and say yes that is like me or no, that is the complete opposite and this system is garbage? It's fun.

[armd]

I wasn't born on a fun-loving month, so I wouldn't know.

(All that yellow bile, you understand.)

[cozen]

Do you know what your zodiac is? What are the fun-loving months?

[armd]

I think it's capricorn.

Summer months seem like they'd be the most fun-loving ones (A tiny doodle of a sun appears at the end of this sentence. And then it gains a pair of sunglasses.)

[cozen]

I have always thought I must have been born in the summer. This settles it.

What are you supposed to be like, if you are a capricorn?

[armd]

You don't know when you were born?

(She doesn't remember anything about what capricorns should be like. After a pause, she writes:) Probably the same as the choleric thing. Blunt and shitty.

[cozen]

I think I know the year.

[ He draws a line through shitty and writes commanding above it. ]

Of course we are all shitty in our own ways.

[armd]

When do you celebrate your birthday?

(This is a kind gesture. She doesn't doodle a smiley face or anything but she is actually smiling in real life over it fyi) Yeah, I guess. You're alright though

[cozen]

I celebrate my birthday whenever I need someone to do me a favor.

[ And more privately on Summerday, the traditional coming-of-age day. ]

That's one of the ways I am shitty.

[armd]

(Ah ah ah if he did it to her-

Abby crosses out 'shitty', to replace with:) smart. Ever managed to get two birthdays out of the people with bad memories?