crystal.

[cozen]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Nonsense. If your characters will not say anything but are obviously/observably involved with people, please feel even more encouraged than normal to "not here" reply with the deets for everyone's gossip-gathering purposes.

Bonjour, mes amis.

[ Faintly sing-song, but in a drawling and subdued way. It doesn't do to sound too chipper and excited about asking people semi-invasive questions. ]

I have been talking to the Seneschal, and we thought—well, it's possible we might need a fraternization policy. Or a record, at least, in case it becomes a problem later. And to decide whether that is necessary: information about fraternization.

[ It's obvious from his voice that he's pleased that that rhymes. ]

So who is together? Or involved, if together is a scary word.

Please feel very free to rat out your bashful friends.

[ As an afterthought, ]

If you have opinions about the policy or record part, I will take those, too.

Comments

[unshut]

[Clearly.]

How heroic.

Naturally though, I can't tell you his name right off. It would spoil the whole thing.

[cozen]

Will you leave me a series of elaborate clues?

[unshut]

Our passionate love letters are strictly encoded. It would be a shame to waste all the intrigue at the bottom of my trunk.

[cozen]

Oh. You are so lucky I would never rifle through the trunk of a living woman—anymore, you know. Not for free.

Tailing a living woman, on the other hand.

[unshut]

[A discouraging click of the tongue. For shame, Bastien!]

Well now I'll have to start climbing out of a whole assortment of windows to confuse the trail.

[cozen]

May the best climber win.

[ What crises could be averted if he were to actually follow through on this threat? The world will never know. ]

[unshut]

[Crises? Interfering with noble work is more like it.]

—And climbing into whatever strange passing carriages suit me.

[cozen]

[ Noble crises. ]

Fortunately my trusty steed will always be nearby.

[unshut]

Did you ever land on a name for that scoundrel?

[cozen]

[ An oppressed sigh. ]

Rascal, I decided, because it’s similar to Vascal but doesn’t immediately give away the obsession.

But then Yseult said she didn’t like it, and it does sound a little like something a child would come up with, so I’m on the fence. I don’t think he would notice if I started calling him Vascal after all. He’s brave and loyal— [ sort of ] —but he isn’t that smart.

[unshut]

Yseult is right. Rascal is the name of either a child's horse or one belonging to a dumpy old man who likes to wink at girls.

Anyway, no horse is smart and anyone who says differently is deluded. You have to curve his grade.

[cozen]

[ He makes a despairing noise at that first part. Childish he might have been able to live with, but dumpy-old-man-who-winks-at-girls-ish? Horrible. Life-ruining. ]

How would you tell a relatively bright horse from a relatively dull one?

[unshut]

Practically impossible. Brave could mean smart, but it could also mean relentlessly dimwitted. The same goes for loyal.

I hear it comes down to a certain bright look in the eye.

[cozen]

I see.

Then he might be the smartest horse there's ever been.

[unshut]

Surely you're familiar with sharp lads who play the fool.

[cozen]

One or two.

[ Intimately, heh heh heh.

But more important: ]

Have you kept many animals yourself, Madame?

[unshut]

[Not to worry. If they were having this conversation, she would have punctuated that assertion with A Significant Look.]

We had an exceptionally angry cat when I was a girl, but generally no. My horse sense has all been acquired from the rail and is primarily concerned with the speed at which they run.