a vital survey | open

[stickandstring]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Kate Bishop
RECIPIENT: All
NOTES: Possible nonsense, possible Warden secrets

Hello, Riftwatch. I'm Kate Bishop, Grey Warden, archer, Forces Division. [ and a youngish, not particularly serious woman from the Free Marches, judging by her voice ] I've been doing a terrible job getting to know all of you good people and I'd like to change that. But I figure, let's see how many birds we can kill with this one stone. We like efficiency here, right? Making the best of limited resources, all that nice underdog stuff.

So I present for you here an opportunity to one, convey your feelings about Grey Wardens to a representative of that organization, namely me; two, ask any questions you have about Grey Wardens and get them answered by a representative of that organization, also me unless Alistair can stop b—canoodling with his very attractive lady friend long enough to help out or Ellis reappears from wherever he's fucked off to; and three, talk to me, which probably involves less useful information but you never know, I'm pretty great.

So, first, a survey of Riftwatch opinions on the Grey Wardens: [ she clears her throat and adopts a less joking, more official tone at least temporarily ]

1. What is your opinion of Grey Wardens? Generally, the overall organization. I guess whether you include those assholes in Weisshaupt right now is sort of part of the question.
   
2. Does the whole Weisshaupt coup thing make you trust all Wardens less?
   
3. Do you feel Wardens are generally more or less trustworthy than the average person, or the same?
   
4. Do you believe all Wardens should have to wear the color grey?
   
5. Do you feel the color grey inspires trust? If not, what is the most trustworthy color?
   
6. Have you heard any of the following rumors about Wardens, and if so, do you believe them?
   1. Wardens have much greater stamina than most people
      
   2. Wardens turn into darkspawn when they die
      
   3. Wardens are immune to hangovers
      
   4. Wardens gradually turn grey over the course of their life. All over, I mean, not just hair.
      
   5. Wardens faked the Fifth Blight
      
   6. Wardens all have weirdly hairy arms
7. What is the one question about Wardens you'd most like answered?

There we go, that's the end. I look forward to recording your insightful responses and someday conveying them to Warden leadership who I'm sure will be grateful for our work.

Comments

[kantikoy]

Are the rest of us Wardens exempt from this survey or would you like my answers as well?

[ Teasing. ]

[stickandstring]

[ Laughing, but a little apologetically. Whoops. ]

You're more than welcome! I just figured I'd better spare those of you who-- aren't Alistair, I guess? I was trying to come up with another category but it's pretty much that.

[kantikoy]

That's fine, really, I was just amused. And curious. But mostly amused.

[ It's true, she's not Alistair. Wouldn't want to be, either. ]

[stickandstring]

Good, amused is good. And you really are welcome to chime in, I just wasn't going to be a smartass about someone I don't really know. For once.

[byblow]

Are you not immune to hangovers?

[stickandstring]

No! I mean, some. But you're not serious, right? If you're actually completely immune to hangovers I'm going to be pissed.

[byblow]

One hundred percent, ever since I joined. [ He doesn’t sound at all convincing, even if you don’t know him. ] I assumed it was part of the stamina.

[poleaxed]

[look she's trying to talk as little as possible right now and literacy has never been her strong suit-]

[kantikoy]

He said that he should be back around the new year.

~Adrasteia

[poleaxed]

CUTING IT CLOSE

book

[stickandstring]

[ Scrawled, but readably, like somebody who learned good penmanship but is too lazy to stick with it. ]

No idea!

[poleaxed]

BOLOCKS

WILL ANSER YOU LATER

[nonvenomous]

This is a highly inefficient means of conducting a survey.

[stickandstring]

I'll have to do a survey about survey styles next.

[nonvenomous]

Please don't.

[fairforce]

I've always found blue to be a trusthworthy color. Gray isn't terrible, but it's so... shady.

[stickandstring]

Is shade grey, though? I'd say it's more black. Also, how do you feel about blue and grey stripes?

[fairforce]

It depends, doesn't it? Shade in the sunlight is more gray than black. A shade at night would be more black than gray. And blue and gray stipes are lovely. A very fetching combination.

written;

[sagaciouselle]

1. What is your opinion of Grey Wardens? Generally, the overall organization. I guess whether you include those assholes in Weisshaupt right now is sort of part of the question.

I don't have strong opinions about Grey Wardens. Perhaps they could get to the business of killing the archdemon that Corypheus has.

2. Does the whole Weisshaupt coup thing make you trust all Wardens less?

No more or less than any other group in power.

3. Do you feel Wardens are generally more or less trustworthy than the average person, or the same?

The same, which is to say, very little trustworthiness in my opinion.

4. Do you believe all Wardens should have to wear the color grey?

No.

5. Do you feel the color grey inspires trust? If not, what is the most trustworthy color?

There is no such thing as a trustworthy color.

6. Have you heard any of the following rumors about Wardens, and if so, do you believe them?
a. Wardens have much greater stamina than most people

Yes, and probably.

b. Wardens turn into darkspawn when they die

Yes and I don't know. I've never heard of an elder Warden.

c. Wardens are immune to hangovers

No.

d. Wardens gradually turn grey over the course of their life. All over, I mean, not just hair.

No.

e. Wardens faked the Fifth Blight

No.

f. Wardens all have weirdly hairy arms

No.

7. What is the one question about Wardens you'd most like answered?

Why AREN'T there elder Wardens?

written

[stickandstring]

Why AREN'T there elder Wardens?

Because none of us live long enough for that. Part of the bargain.

Sure you don't find any color more trustworthy?

[sagaciouselle]

Positive.

[delphian]

I've some Warden armor I should probably give back to someone. Did what could be done for the previous owner already.

[stickandstring]

Are you returning it because of the color?

[delphian]

( consideringly, )

I don't know that it looks much as it originally did, at this point. Hard to say much about the colour. If you lot don't want it back, mind, it's useful in a bind.

[bouchonne]

The Wardens definitely faked the Fifth Blight.