crystal;

[voidtransport]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Allumin
RECIPIENT: Everybody in Riftwatch
NOTES: gay panic in a couple threads (kinda spicy)

um, hello? [the voice is very soft and nervous at first.]

Pardon my anxiousness, I'm, ah, not used to this kind of communication being so... open?

I was told I'd need a staff and some guidance in order to use my own magic properly here. The general outlook on mages, however, has me doubting if devoting the time is a good idea or if I should focus my efforts elsewhere. However, if it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head, and someone were interested and able in assisting me, I'd be happy to discuss fair compensation for your time.

Also, upon some recent reflection, I suppose I should offer myself up to one of the divisions of Riftwatch - not Diplomacy though, I'm not equipped for that.

Comments

[inkindled]

How old are you, mate?

[voidtransport]

Not old enough to know better, apparently. [the shame will never go away]

Unfortunately, twenty-five. Would that I were older and wiser.

[inkindled]

[Eight years his junior, Matthias clicks his tongue. Oh, son.]

At least you're self-aware. S'more than might be said for some. Even if it is too late.

Anyway, if you can do magic, why won't you be wanting to do magic? Just 'cause of the Chantry?

[voidtransport]

[If only he'd self-improve with the awareness. Alas.

He scoffs a bit at the last question, because as he understands it the Chantry is not so different from temples where he's from, only more monotheistic. And also more scrutinizing of magic but, well. Not everything is one-to-one.]

Gods no, if I let religion stop me I wouldn't have traveled with a cleric before ending up here. [He does not stop to think that might not be a universal term here.]

No, it's more that if you're a threat with a knife people may still be afraid but there's less of a chance they feel totally defenseless. From what I understand, the relationship with magic, or rather the fear of it, can lend to a perfectly reasonable person with magic being treated with suspicion while a dangerous person without it may be disregarded entirely. [and that's just not right.]

[inkindled]

[Cleric, right, he definitely knows what that means.]

See, the way I've always been told, that's 'cause the fellow with the knife isn't likely to explode into an Abomination on you. Reasonable fear, they say. But I reckon that's crap.

So your reason for not doing magic is 'cause you don't want people to think you're a threat, and you'd rather leap out and surprise them with a stupid titchy knife?

[voidtransport]

No, the knife thing is just an example! The point is that what a person is or isn't able to do shouldn't be how you judge them, it's their intentions that should matter.

An accident is an accident - if something terrible happening because of how magic works here wasn't the intent of the mage, then they shouldn't be held accountable for that. Instead, it should be the responsibility of those able to look deeper and understand what's happening in a greater way so as to find solutions to those accidents in a way that benefits everyone.

[inkindled]

Right.

So then you ought to embrace being a mage like the rest of have. 'Cause I agree with you. At least I think I do--you don't half talk in circles. Has anyone told you? And other mages'd agree with you as well. It's not our fault. Only it's the way it's always been, except in places like Rivain, before.

I don't know that a load of talking is going to change anyone's mind. It wouldn't change mine. But we can give it a go.

[voidtransport]

I've been critiqued for it, yes. [the talking in circles thing.]

I've done it again, haven't I? [yep] You're right - as are the others who have told me the same. I know I shouldn't let my fear get in the way, it's just - [he sighs] - easier.

[Admitting that out loud is... so hard, but he does it. He did say to Gabranth he would make his best effort to be better.]

[inkindled]

No it's not.

[Like, bruh.]

How is it your magic work, like? It's something that you can easily do without? Or you wouldn't reach for it accidentally when you were up against the wall?

[voidtransport]

[Ouch. He deserves this, really.]

No, I would. I'd probably teleport away as far as I could. [He does have a couple spells that are reactionary, and overriding the instinct to use them would be hard if he tried to just learn to do melee combat instead. Those moments of being caught in that feedback loop would be dangerous if so.

It's a really good point, and it frustrates him to be going through a different kind of public shame than the last.]

You're right - it's been a part of my life for so long that so much of it is second nature.

[inkindled]

All right, then. There you are.

[Crisp, first, but.... all right, all right. He's got to relent. This is another mage, isn't it. Even if he is a Rifter, and a bit wet.]

So you'll be getting a staff, then, and joining up with the rest of us. Well done. Can you actually teleport? Not here, surely.

[voidtransport]

[He's not sure if he should say thank you, be cheeky, or just move on. His jaw clenches at being told 'well done' after everything else that's been said.

Best to just drop it for now.]

Yes? No? Sort of? Before it was more of a look where I want to go and I'm there situation. Here it seems like I still move through physical space if I try. It still sort of works.

[inkindled]

[whattttttt, okay, respect--]

Right, that's brilliant. I think. I dunno if I get what you mean, 'move through physical space'. Is it just that you walk faster?

[voidtransport]

No? Um, imagine like, hm, if The Maker himself showed up behind you and shoved you forward a few feet but faster than anyone could see you move. I mean, not that exactly, but just as an example. [He does not really know how to explain it in a way that makes sense.]

[inkindled]

Can't imagine that, sorry. Or rather, I can, at least the bit about being shoved--the Maker isn't half a bastard--but other than that...

If it sort of works, can you show it off? I want to see.

[voidtransport]

Well - I could have used some other sort of attempt at a metaphor but it would not sound quite as benign.

In any case, yes, sure. Maybe it's more similar to some kind of magic here than I know yet and demonstrating it for someone will help to provide some clarity.

[inkindled]

[Awww yeah new magic, but Matthias tries to keep his calm. He wants to look cool, not like some kid who's never seen anything.]

All right, yeah. Training yard?