CRYSTAL | maybe you should wait.

[poleaxed]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jone
RECIPIENT: Y'all
NOTES: Comments may be spicy.

Is anybody dreaming of getting back topside? Know I am. Blimey, a sweaty fucking pit, is Orzammar.

We've a tennis court. That's jeu de paume for the rest of you. [Her Orlesian is surprisingly not terrible.] It ought to be finished by the time we're back. I know, I know, you don't like to train in the yard, it hurts your knees or your bloody feelings. That's what the court's for. Let's play a game and get your stamina up, aye?

Noticed we've had some new folk lately, and I wanna say again: I'm Jone, the six-foot-bitch in the training yard with the red hair. I'll train you, and I'll do it right. You ain't for swords, we'll find what you're for. Free fucking service, you only have to make an effort.

Think of it this way: if you work hard enough, get strong enough, one day you'll get to break me nose.

Comments

[littlemissfutility]

...You have tennis here?

[poleaxed]

Haven't stuttered since I were seven, luv.

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah, but--I dunno. I didn't realize tennis was that old.

[poleaxed]

Old? Never thought about it. Maybe a hundred years...?

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah, um. Never mind.

[ Because this isn't Earth and it's not Earth's past, even if sometimes it feels like it. Never mind. ]

What kind of stuff do you train people on? Besides swords.

[poleaxed]

Shields, knives, mauls, maces, polearms, spears, basic fucking defense. First days just getting an eye on where to start, like. It's dead simple, if you give a shit.

Giving a shit's the hardest part.

[littlemissfutility]

...I give a shit. That part won't be hard.

[poleaxed]

Then you've just shot to the top of my list of favorite students. You ever fought before, luv?

[littlemissfutility]

A little. You, uh, saw some of it--at Wysteria's wedding?

[poleaxed]

That the long'n short of it?

[littlemissfutility]

Most of it, yeah. [ But also-- ] I shot a crossbow once.

[poleaxed]

Ohh. What's your distance, luv?

[littlemissfutility]

My...distance?

[poleaxed]

How far'd you shoot?

[littlemissfutility]

Pretty far. [ It feels like so long ago, Daryl showing her how to aim. She can hardly remember the actual shot, just the feel of the crossbow and the snap of a trap around her ankle. ] A couple dozen yards?

[elegiaque]

I've played since I was about seven.

[littlemissfutility]

You'd probably kick my ass, then. The only time I played was gym class.

[elegiaque]

It's probably been at least seven years since I had the opportunity, so I might have got terrible in the meantime.

[littlemissfutility]

Maybe we could find out, once we're out of Orzammar.

[elegiaque]

It'll be fun. And she's right, great for stamina. Before I was ever combat trained, I fancied myself a little bit of an athlete.

[littlemissfutility]

...Yeah, you are definitely gonna kick my ass.

I'm Beth.

[elegiaque]

Gwenaëlle Baudin. ( guh-nayl boo-don, to brutally phoneticize what she just said. ) I can teach you how to do the splits, too. You never know when being limber will come in useful.

( it's way more times than she had once thought, a skill she learned for incredibly specific reasons. )

[littlemissfutility]

Nice to meet you, Gwenaëlle.

[ Which comes out basically right, if with some decidedly un-Orlesian vowels. You can take the girl out of Georgia, but getting Georgia out of the girl is a little harder. ]

I'm pretty flexible, but I don't think I've tried to do the splits since I was, like, eight.

[elegiaque]

I learned it for,

( hm )

—dancing. When I was young. And I liked to climb things quite a lot.

[littlemissfutility]

Climbing?

[ She's trying to imagine the splits being helpful when you're halfway up a tree. But anyway-- ]

If you wanna show me how, I wanna try it.