crystal

[thereneverwas]

FORM: crystal
SENDER: Barrow
RECIPIENT: everyone
NOTES: this isn't real

Riftwatch, some of you may recall that I won a small bottle of beard oil at Satinalia. I'm not certain if it's that, or if it's something in the water, that has my face itching strangely all of a sudden.

Comments

[heirring]

Satinalia was some time ago, serrah. Perhaps something in the bottle has gone off.

[infantes]

Satinalia?

[skulltasm]

IT'S A POPULAR HOLIDAY AROUND HERE.

[hornswoggle]

It must be a cheap tonic, if it only lasts for half a year.

[pittance]

You just start using it?

[unshut]

No wonder that sweet girl Poesia left so quickly after they returned from the jungle. [Lowering her voice:] Trying to avoid another round of beard burn to the delicates.

[wythersake]

Lice.

[heorte]

Is that a possibility?

[muckspout]

I feel [Hums in confusion.] not itchy. Cleaner? [Makes a shuddering noise]

[altusimperius]

That's good news.

[extortionate]

The fuck'd you need to oil it for?

[sulahnan]

Cuts down on friction.

[tender]

Maybe Sister Sara should look at it for you.

[thereneverwas]

I'd rather she didn't. I'm afraid of what she'll do.

[highborn]

Only itchy? You've checked a mirror recently, I hope.

[noonrodeon]

Was my thinkin' too. Our friend here might be looking like a tomato if he's really unlucky.

[satinet]

Ah, another victim to counterfeit perfumed oils and sundries. This is why it's so important to verify a reliable maker's mark.

[justashotaway]

Then you should shave it.

[dinadhal]

The water, it seems good enough to me. Something else, I think, could be the cause.

[poleaxed]

You're a leper, mate. Off to an island with you!

[innerharbor]

I fucking miss search engines.

[youwonscience]

Googling medical symptoms is the dark side, man.

[acreage]

You might be allergic to something in the oil.

[ god, do they know about allergies in ye olde thedas ]

[lumelume]

bark

[cozen]

Comeuppance.