crystal.

[cozen]

FORM: Crystal (pre-dream plot, don't think about it)
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: Inspired by true events. (The true event is Jasmin.) And here are some canon plays if you want them but feel free to make up bullshit if you're not already aware you're allowed to do that whenever. And please threadjack.

[ Cheerful and Orlesian-accented: ]

If we put on a play for First Day—or read one, at least. I am sure no one has time to memorize lines. If we read one, are there any requests? Demands? Parts you were born to play? Parts your friends would realize they were born to play if they received some unrelenting encouragement?

And Monsieur Vascarelle, [ preemptively, ] you must promise to be gentle with us.

Comments

[bouchonne]

By decree of the Diplomacy division, Wilkshire Downs is proscribed on pain of expulsion from this organization.

[cozen]

Heh. [ Quietly; this is very immature. ] Expulsion.

—and you wouldn't. It is a classic! And educational. Essential to understanding the soul of the Orlesian peasant.

[bouchonne]

Now, I loathe the peasantry as much as the next nobleman. But that sounds cruel even to me.

[cozen]

Ouais, extrêmement. That is why you cannot say it.

[bouchonne]

Hmm. So are you prolific in that particular art?

[muckspout]

Animals. Lots of animals. and possibly some musical numbers. And at least one death.

[cozen]

That sounds like a vote for Les Chats.

HAHAHA

[muckspout]

Sounds perfect. Are there any jugglers in that one?

[cozen]

I do not see why there couldn’t be. Can you juggle?

[muckspout]

[In a boastful tone.]

Not only can I juggle, I can juggle up to 7, sometimes 8 things. Well, fruits anyway. It would depend on what I am juggling.

[deuselfmachina]

Ohhh. [ --a few octaves high before back down to earth. How charming!! ] Of course, I would never like to crush the dreams of aspiring amateurs.

And if you select a play without any dancing or singing or very many lines, I won't have to.

[cozen]

[ He laughs. ]

Oh, Maker. What was the one that was mostly duels? With the little scenes in between to explain them happening—A Fistful of Thorns. We could do that one.

[deuselfmachina]

Ah, oui.

[ And on second thought— ]

Non. Not unless we give them paper swords to use. Or did you hear of when the Cabriol brothers put it on for Lord Mignon's wedding, and they all used differently coloured tulips for arms so as not to frighten the bridesmaids. [ Thoughtfully; ] That was silly, let us not.

Perhaps a production with only a few key performers, and anyone else who wishes to participate can be, you know. Trees, and things.

[cozen]

[ In a wounded voice that is also laughing—terrible acting!— ]

Florent.

[deuselfmachina]

Allez, Bastien! We have no scénographe, and thus I offer a solution. [ 'Ah solu-shyon'. The Orlesian gets thicker, betraying banter. ]

I was a tree, once. What novice actor was not?

[justashotaway]

I will watch.

[cozen]

Well, every performance needs an audience. But what if we settle on something that has a role that is perfect for you?

[justashotaway]

What kind of role?

[cozen]

I don't know. What would be fun for you? Would singing and dancing in front of people make you nervous?

[clawings]

I ain't been in a play since I was eight, and I can't sing for shit, so I think I should probably sit this out.

[cozen]

If you’d prefer to, of course, but I think most of us have never been in a play at all, and I doubt we will do one with musical numbers.

What did you do when you were eight?

[clawings]

Well that's good. Probably wouldn't end well. [ It'd be hilarious, but. Save everyone's ears please. ]

James and the Giant Peach and Paddington Bear. First one is about an orphan that makes friends with giant insects and rides a huge peach across an ocean. Second one is about a small bear that talks and gets lost in a transit hub, I think.

[cozen]

Quel charme! What roles did you play?

[radicans]

Perhaps something with a bit of farce to it? So no one need concern themselves with realistic performance. In the line of The Qunari's Daughter or Mowbry's The Duke's Wedding.

[cozen]

Oh, but I would love to see a realistic performance of The Qunari’s Daughter.

[ Really, he’d love to see realistic performances of everything, being newly acquainted with the style of theater where people don’t wear masks and use their faces to emote. ]

But perhaps not here. It would be asking a lot of everyone. Which of the two is your favorite?