[ Gareth is here and he sounds positively cheerful. Uh oh. ]

Hey, guys. Guess who's the brand new archivist for this circus ring?

[ His voice drops conspiratorially. ]

It's me. I'm the new archivist. Surprise!

[ And back to a regular voice: ]

What that means is that I'll be keeping track of all of the various valuable things the Inquisition doesn't want getting lost into the abyss. Books, equipment, artifacts, things we've found on our missions, the severed arms of shardbearers, people's vengeful and enraged dead great-aunts...

You know, the usual kinds of things we drag in here.

So if a project needs Andraste's Sacred Tears or whatever, and you want to know if we have it, just some ask me and I'll pull out my great big Book Of What Shit We Have Laying Around, and take a looksee. I'll also be in charge of making sure the library is nice and organized and books that are taken are returned in a timely manner. And I have a list of everyone who has books checked out right now, so.

You can't see it, but I'm pointing at my eyes, and pointing at you. I know where you sleep.

Moving on! My job only entails the things we already have, not acquiring more, so don't complain to me about the terrible selection of books. I'm aware, trust me. You all should've seen it a decade ago. Knight-Commander Meredith banned all the jokebooks because she hated us laughing. Then after the infamous Edith's Fruit Tarts incident, she banned cookbooks, too. Which was actually fair, because it's not like any of us could cook.

[ He might be bullshitting. He might be serious. Only a select few people know, and hopefully they'll willing to not spill the beans. ]

--Anyway! Direct your requests for more books to...someone else. Who is not me.

Thanks.