Inquisition, while aiding with a rift, I was nearly brained by a box that fell out of it. Curious as to what nearly shuffled me off this mortal coil, I took a look inside, and there I discovered something...fascinating. Truly, I can tell these must be from another world, for I have never seen such a thing, nor imagined it existed.

And I'm willing to share, with those bold enough to take the risk. I personally recommend those with heart conditions turning this crystal off now. Inquisition, I give you..............

[ And over the crystal, the sound of a cartoon cow moo can be heard. ]

They're slippers. Shaped like animals. And they make noises like animals.

[ Some shuffling noises, then a few more cartoon animal noises--a dog barking, a cat meowing. ]

There's a bunch them, with a bunch of different animals. So I'm sure you can see the problem: I only have two feet. I figured I'd let other people take their pick. No payment required, except your happy smiles, and possibly coming to my room in them and stomping around if the folks next door don't learn to keep it down.

Myr, I set aside a pair of bees for you already. Kostos, I have a pair of owls. I hope that's appropriately thematic enough for you, I couldn't find any skulls. Nell, I have a pair of lions that are very ferocious. Fereldens: There are enough dogs to go around, don't worry.

There's only one pair of cow slippers, and those are mine, sorry. There's also exactly one pair of ordinary slippers that don't make animal noises, if you want to be boring.

[ He doesn't bother to mention that those slippers don't make animal noises, but they do make horribly obnoxious squeaky noises. ]