crystals, open;

[extortionate]

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: the Brave Sirs Lazar & Lucien
RECIPIENT: You & Yours
NOTES: Takes place during/after the abomination log. It's fine to be a bit vague about time, time is weird in a crisis!

[ over the sound of coughing, ]

Someone want t'explain the fuck just happened?


[ a string of very orlesian euphemisms, then: ]

These tables are remarkably resilient.


And short.

Comments

[thereneverwas]

...did something the fuck just happen?

[extortionate]

Didn't you hear nothing?

[thereneverwas]

There was a sort of shudder in the walls, I suppose.

[extortionate]

Some dipshit was on the table and then — everything! On fucking fire!

[thereneverwas]

[with a sinking feeling,]

oh.

Did anyone catch the, ah... dipshit?

[extortionate]

It sound like I got any clue?

[okayimin]

Abomination.

Guess you Dusters missed the fun.

[ haha get it because it was the opposite of fun. ]

[extortionate]

Yeah? Which one of them went off?

[okayimin]

Not any of ours. Stranger I haven't seen before. Got up on the tables, started shouting and suddenly we had an abomination.

[extortionate]

Ain't this place built for that? How'd he get so bloody far —

[coeurdulyon]

Judging by the [ sounds of effort ] extent of the damage I would say this place functioned exactly as intended. Lazar, can you reach that beam there?

[extortionate]

[ that grunt is either assent, or the work of moving it, or —

muttered, ]

All this fuss on getting rid of them — got it —

[okayimin]

Element of surprise helps. We don't exactly have a whole compliment of armored templars either.

[extortionate]

One woulda been nice.

[windyvoice]

How the shit do you just like miss a giant fucking lava monster.

[coeurdulyon]

Luck, it would seem.

[windyvoice]

No kidding. I gotta figure out a way to steal some of that, cus that shit suuuuuucked.

On the bright side, now I know if things ever get seriously bad, I can just go full nightmare monster.

[coeurdulyon]

To steal luck would be to make it bad luck, I think.

[windyvoice]

For you, maybe. I just gotta trick it into thinking it's my luck now.

[bignasty]

There's an abomination having a meltdown in the kitchens. If you're listening to this and fragile, useless, or both like Lazar, take shelter.

[extortionate]

[ that's just like, your opinion, man ]

[extortionate]

What, you a templar now, too?

[muckspout]

The tables appear to be holding up better than the walls. Are they fireproof somehow?

[extortionate]

Dunno, there's all kindsa shit carved on the bottom —

[muckspout]

And they didn't carve it into the walls? What sort of enculé built this anyway?