insert linkin park lyrics here.

[thunderproof]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Adalia
WHAT: Adalia is tired.
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Talk of Venatori captivity may come up!

Do you ever think about the point of the Chant?

❰ it's been a while since adalia spoke on the crystals about... much of anything, really. her voice isn't quite as energetic as it's been in the past, her words coming out more slowly. there's the faintest sound of a pen scratching against parchment as she goes on. ❱

I used to think I had it figured out. It wasn't about the actual story and history of Andraste, it was all about power. Who had it, who was willing to use theirs to hurt people, what people would do to keep it. The Chantry had learned all the wrong lessons from it, I thought. Bunch of wolves, hoarding over the carcass of the truth, tearing strips off and eating them to deny the rest of us access. Uncaring that eventually they would strip the bones bare and leave nothing behind.

❰ for all that adalia's words are blasphemous, inflammatory, she doesn't sound any different than when she started. ponderous, if there had to be a word for it, and if someone could be ponderous while also being uninterested in the answer to their wonderings — she switches topics without so much as a change of inflection. ❱

What do you do when you're angry and it doesn't help? When all of the things that should keep you safe fail and you're powerless and the last thing you have is your anger and then you don't even have that? Is there anything to do, or is it just... this, forever?

Comments

private.

[swordproof]

The Chant is for other people to find hope in. It is not for us, unless we wish it.

[ Then softer, quieter: ]

Might I speak to you of Sarenrae?

[thunderproof]

They want the chant to be for everyone, though. ❰ it's not arguing, really, so much as correction. ❱ The Maker won't return if it isn't.

❰ at least sarenrae will only abandon you if you leave her plane of influence. the maker's just a shitty little toddler, throwing a tantrum over his favourite toy. ❱

If you like.

[swordproof]

Is the Chant designed for those who are not of this world? They wish for it to reach all of Thedas, do they not? We are not of Thedas.

[ Six sighs gently. ]

Sarenrae would offer comfort. She is the Healing Flame, a gentle touch, and she would ask you for patience. It is a difficult thing, but... She would offer it the same.

[ Her voice gets quieter, now. Softer. Gentler. ]

When I was at my weakest, I wished I had her guidance to aid me. When I was failing, I wished that I had a hand to help me stand. She came when I needed her, but I think I could have had her before and been stronger. I would share that with you, if I could. I would give you the same Light she gave me.

[thunderproof]

❰ sure as adalia is that doesn't matter in the slightest to any andrastian, she just hums, unwilling to press. it doesn't matter what she thinks or wants or what makes her angry. ❱

I have had to be very patient lately, ❰ she says, neither here nor there, really. sarenrae asks for patience but adalia has given it, all that she has and more — been patient with the natives, flirting with acknowledging rifters' worth. patient with alacruun, who's a disaster in qunari form. patient with rescue, when its lateness cost her the one pure thing she was allowed in this world. adalia has been patient, and what has she gotten for it?

nothing, but it's what she should have expected. ❱

I'm glad she found you. You care for her a great deal.

[swordproof]

[ Six can understand, at least on some level. Adalia might be more involved with the Inquisition and the state of Rifters than she is, but there's no denying that she is a Rifter too. Their ills are her own. ]

I know. And you are strong for it. I am glad I get to see you prove your strength, even if I wish you did not have to. [ Six wishes there was more that she could do for her sister, but she feels powerless. She has no magic, has only the strength of her arms, the power of her arms and her heart, and she doesn't think that is enough for Adalia. She doesn't quite feel enough, and that makes her feel as though she has to do more.

All she has to offer is Sarenrae, and even she is nothing here. It makes her burn, somewhere deep in her heart. ]

She saved my life. If she had not come to me I would not be here, speaking with you. I would not have met you, sister.