insert linkin park lyrics here.

[thunderproof]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Adalia
WHAT: Adalia is tired.
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Talk of Venatori captivity may come up!

Do you ever think about the point of the Chant?

❰ it's been a while since adalia spoke on the crystals about... much of anything, really. her voice isn't quite as energetic as it's been in the past, her words coming out more slowly. there's the faintest sound of a pen scratching against parchment as she goes on. ❱

I used to think I had it figured out. It wasn't about the actual story and history of Andraste, it was all about power. Who had it, who was willing to use theirs to hurt people, what people would do to keep it. The Chantry had learned all the wrong lessons from it, I thought. Bunch of wolves, hoarding over the carcass of the truth, tearing strips off and eating them to deny the rest of us access. Uncaring that eventually they would strip the bones bare and leave nothing behind.

❰ for all that adalia's words are blasphemous, inflammatory, she doesn't sound any different than when she started. ponderous, if there had to be a word for it, and if someone could be ponderous while also being uninterested in the answer to their wonderings — she switches topics without so much as a change of inflection. ❱

What do you do when you're angry and it doesn't help? When all of the things that should keep you safe fail and you're powerless and the last thing you have is your anger and then you don't even have that? Is there anything to do, or is it just... this, forever?

Comments

[thunderproof]

❰ a what ❱

I don't follow.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Uh, okay, so--modern medicine, that's modern in my world, we have this knowledge and understanding that the brain doesn't always work the way it should not because of any specific failing of that person, but because there are--balances, chemical balances in the brain that are out of whack. Sometimes we're able to treat that medically, and sometimes we aren't, and sometimes it doesn't need like any physical treatment and just needs help along the way, psychologically. So, therapist. Uh...

Someone who understands how thinking works and is able to help people think in a way that's better for their mental health? Talking about issues that bother them and giving them the figurative tools they need to make it past those roadblocks to cope with fucky thoughts and feelings.

So like, super not at all a professional in any way, but generally 'not able to feel things anymore' teeeeends toward depression.