ready to be famous

[summerfae]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Resa
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: A Great Idea
WHEN: Now
WHERE: She's in Kirkwall
NOTES: It's Not A Great Idea

You know what this place really needs? More lively music. I'm talking jams, I'm talking real bops. I can't headbang to a lyre.

So, who wants to start a band with me and invent rock and roll? I'm also accepting inventing pop, punk, pop punk, progressive rock, and 80s synth, if you can figure out how to fake a synth. Vaporwave need not apply, and if you even think of trying to start nightcore, fuck you.

Comments

[motherfucking_ghost]

Holy shit. But how are you gonna shred an electric guitar if electric guitars aren't a thing? Like, you could do prog rock and folk by reinventing a regular guitar. Just don't teach anyone Wonderwall.

[summerfae]

Someone really needs to get around to inventing electricity already. Can we just send someone outside in a storm with a kite and a key?

[ That's how it happened, right. ]

What about Freebird?

I think drums are also going to be important, like, when was the last time you heard a sick drum solo here? Never. At least that'll be easy, people have been beating on drums for basically forever. Cymbals...I think they exist? They can't be that hard to make, either.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Shit, I have tried explaining electricity to people before, but I don't know if they really get 'you know lightning, channel that into a thing to make it go'--but to be fair, I don't...know? Like, how you do that, either? So fuck me, I guess.

Drums should be easy! They definitely already have drums invented here. Just need to make a proper set, and some metal disks, and a pair of sticks, and bam. But...bass. Everyone thinks the bass isn't important, but it's so important, how do you do that without electricity? Get someone with a deep voice to do it?

[summerfae]

You know, you have a point. We can laugh at these people all day for not having invented it yet, but it’s not like I could invent it, either. Something about...electric currents creating closed loops of....electrons...? I would have done my homework if I’d known this shit would actually be relevant. Maybe I could try sticking witres into a potato to charge my phone.

Bass...That would be hard. Maybe we could get an orchestra bass? You know, the big ones they used in jazz. Like violins, but the size of a dude.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Oh my god. Wires and potatoes. That's brilliant! Do--do we have wires, like, would regular metal wiring work? Might give you a little shock but won't kill you or anything. Witchcraft this shit up with science, motherfucker!

Also are...you...talking about cellos? Or is it literally just called a bass, but for fancy orchestral stuff and jazz?

[summerfae]

Is there rubber yet? No--I don't think there is. We'd have to wrap the wires in something if we didn't want to get shocked, but I guess if you're willing to take the risk--I wonder if getting a mage to do some electricity with the wires would juice it up?

I know I can't get an internet connection, but being able to take selfies without worrying about draining my juice would be nice.

[ Not to mention just have revolutionary the whole 'taking photos and video' thing would be. ]

No, bass are bigger than cellos. Like, you have to stand up to play them. But they...probably wouldn't make the same noise. I think.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Leather? How good is leather at this? Oh man, we need to ask Cosima. She's good at science. Actual science. She might know!

But okay okay, here's a question--selfies. If you have no one to send them to, then what's the point?

[thorndergod]

...What are these things?

[summerfae]

They’re genres of music back home. They’ve got this crazy good beat to them, they’re loud and just—really cool. Though it might take getting used to, if you haven’t heard it before.

[thorndergod]

I believe it is safe to say I have not heard it before.

[There's a short pause as he tries to fit the words into making sense.]

You can play these genres?

[summerfae]

I'm not surprised, they...aren't really the style Thedas seems into, yet. [ Never heard Guns and Roses at a Renn Faire. ] And you don't have some of the instruments used to play them, so—Dunno if I can pull it off. But hey, I’ll see what I can do. Maybe I can make some sort of...mix between rock and lyres. People have done it with banjos.

[thorndergod]

A mix between rock and lyre. I see.

[He has money. His family has stonemason contacts. If she wants a rock lyre, however impractical it sounds, he feels like getting her a rock lyre.]

Perhaps you could describe the instruments. I am not without resources.

[summerfae]

Aw, you don't have to do that for me.

[ But he should. Give her pretty things, plz. ]

Describing would be...difficult. I can try drawing it!

[thorndergod]

Then draw it for me, and I will see what is possible.

[It feels nice to give her pretty things. He's in.]

[bouchonne]

[ Sighing - ] You rifters. Honestly, can't you keep these sorts of things amongst yourselves?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Sounds like someone doesn't like experimental music.

[bouchonne]

Oh, no, that's not exactly it. I once spent an evening listening to an Ander performing a radical reinterpretation of the Chant of Light using nothing but the sound of his breath.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You'd love throat-singing, then.

[bouchonne]

Fairly certain I already know that one.

[motherfucking_ghost]

But it always feels incomplete without more tongue work in the mix. [Byerly cannot see the fingerguns, but surely he can feel them in his soul.]

[bouchonne]

I've never received any complaints regarding my technique.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I always end up getting other people to sing along, and I feel like that's compliment enough. Exquisite high pitches.

[bouchonne]

Sounds like idle boasting to me.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Are you suggesting an audition by any chance?

[bouchonne]

I don't know. Are you interested in pursuing this sort of career? Are your aspirations so high?

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Okay, he can't anymore, he's audibly giggling now.] Sorry, I'm sorry, now I'm just wondering if you guys have porn. Is pornography a thing here? Are there--holy shit. Are there smut peddlers? Are those real things?

[bouchonne]

[ A snort. ]

Dearest creature, surely even a Rifter cannot possibly be so arrogant as to think you have a monopoly on filth. And you lot are arrogant.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I'd start singing The Internet Is For Porn at you, but then I'd have to explain what the internet is, which means explaining what a computer is, which means explaining how you use electricity to power machines, but suffice to say, I promise we have way more porn available to the common person, visually, for free, than you guys do.

Also, holy shit, did you just call me a creature? For real. That just happened.

[bouchonne]

Dear Maker, all of that has just given me a raging erection. You telling me about all the things I don't know about - oh! It's simply so erotic.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Nah, you'd have to see my face first. Primo all-American grade A beefcake.

[bouchonne]

[ He lets out a loud moan of mock-eroticism. ]

Oh, yes! Keep using terms that I haven't heard before! It's simply so arousing, I can't stand it!

[motherfucking_ghost]

Pff, you guys take all the fun out of my references for not knowing them. Wasted on natives entirely. Can we get back to the creature thing, cuz I'm sure I misheard you.

[bouchonne]

But I just can't deal with my sheer befuddlement at just how sexy it is when you say things I don't understand. And it's more than that - it's so charming. Definitely the sort of thing that endears Rifters to people like us, rather than making us want to declare them demons and burn them at the stake.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Americana Pepsi-co MickyD's microprocessor download Corvette 3D printer, Russia quantum physics hyperdrive lightspeed parsec Sangheili fountain soda, Pokemon China weeaboo yellow rose of Texas blu-ray dvd combo pack--see now you've given me ammo and I'm not afraid to shoot.

[bouchonne]

Oh, Maker. Oh, keep going. Oh, it's just so erotic.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[You wanna talk music and singing? Cuz he just starts...singing, at least as much as he can remember, because who ever actually remembers the whole thing, but it's enough, let's be honest.]

[bouchonne]

[ Aaaand finally Byerly's out, because he can't keep putting effort into a joke he doesn't even really enjoy in the first place. ]

[summerfae]

[ She's not commenting (but is completely eavesdropping on) the weird flirting thing he's doing with Church. ]

Nah.

[bouchonne]

You know this is why they nearly declared you all to be demons, don't you?

[summerfae]

We're demons because we want to listen to cool music? Geez, you sound like an old geezer shaking his fist at all these damn kids.

[ The joke is on all of them because Resa could probably be considered something related to demons if you wanted to get technical. ]

[bouchonne]

Dear Maker, you don't even realize what you're doing, do you?

[summerfae]

Not talking about doing throat-singing auditions with another rifter, for one.

[ So much for the not commenting thing. ]

[bouchonne]

Not a fan of the performing arts, dear creature? Then why bring up music at all?