sending crystal

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Yngvi
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: So a sack of displeased goblins falls into a dwarf's lap
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: A rift gifted him with a bunch of sphinx kittens, please adopt

[First off there's a lot of mewling. And purring. As if the sending crystal has been placed deep within some sort of nest of kittens because the mewls are tiny. Peep-sized mewls. Then distortion as if something is hitting the sending crystal--]

Stop it, I need to use that and you're harder to keep hold of than a greased nug. Stay still. Right. So. Kind of came into possession of these things, this sack - and that's cruel if whoever did this is listening - of what they called 'displeased goblins'. Which I think are cats. Only I never seen cats with no hair. All wrinkles. And little grumpy old man fa--aces no leave my sending crystal alone I'm talking.

[His voice, further away. Imagine: a tiny paw, tiny claws tipped in several tiny razors extended towards it. A crystal held towards the mouth.]

I am a dwarf of means. But I'm not going to keep a whole sack of these weird little baby cats. Kittens. Skin cats. Like sausage skins. Face full of wrikles worse than the most decrepit dowager Orlais would trot out behind her mask that she's just stuck to her face now because that's it, that's her life. No hair. Just skin. What d'you feel like hmmm? Some sort of leather, not hard leather, good soft leather? They have good angry old man faces and having that on a small cat face is incredible. Also just, like not chunky the way most kittens are so I reckon they'll be a cool slinky cat if you're into that and why wouldn't you be into that?

If you want to come see them before thinking 'yeah I'll have a piece of that' I'm in the Mage Tower, sixth floor, room H.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

[There's a noise, something like someone deflating sadly.]

I can't take in a third cat, I can't, but... Maybe the infirmary could have a cat? To help make sure the mice are kept down. It could be practical.

[inagutterson]

They're babies. They're--

[Let him assess the weight of a kitten with one hand as it attempts to eat his hand.]

It's maybe a couple of pounds. And it has no hair. At all. Whatsoever. The infirmary's down in Darktown, yeah?

[justice_is_blond]

No, the Infirmary's in the Gallows. My Clinic's in Darktown. But I don't fault anyone for not knowing the difference.

[It's said in an "that's completely adorable" tone of voice because baby cat.]

I'd not take a kitten to Darktown. I'd be afraid of things befalling it. But the Gallows should be safe. For kittens.

threadjacks

[wythersake]

What mice? There's nothing practical about a third screaming, clawing thing in the middle of it all.

[ as isaac has never made any poor animal-keeping decisions even once in his life he should know thank u ]

[justice_is_blond]

It wouldn't be a third in the infirmary, it only would have be a third if I chose to own it and I think the Infirmary could use a cat in case of mice. Or other rodents. It will be good for the morale of the injured and ill.

[Cats Are Totally Medicine.]

[somethingwild]

[Newt generally prefers magical creatures to the non-magical variety but still. Kittens are kittens, and having another cat will provide him with something else to look after, which, in turn, will help with him missing his creatures so much.]

I'd like to see them. And I'd be happy to take one of them off of your hands.

[As if he doesn't already have a Demiguise and a cat of his own in his room. But you know. The more, the merrier, as they say.]

[inagutterson]

The door's unlocked, just y'know, be careful coming in case one of 'em thinks it's a good time to go making a bid for freedom. Foie Gras'd probably stop that though.

[That'd be his goose.

This is his life now. Twenty nugs, a goose, and a sack of kittens to dole out.]

[somethingwild]

I'll keep that in mind. I'll be right over.

[Newt, luckily, has many years of experience wrangling all sorts of wriggly creatures. Still, once he does reach Yngvi's door, he is careful to follow his instructions, knocking gently before opening it cautiously.]

So. Where are the little beauties?

[provenforce]

I'll come have a look at them. We need a cat, the mabari are useless for chasing mice.

[inagutterson]

The mabari might think the kitten is a thing to chase. Also these are hairless babies, you got a mouse problem it'll be a while.

[provenforce]

They're smart dogs I think they'd be fine. They haven't chased any of the stray cats running around Kirkwall, at least.

We don't have a mouse problem right now, but you know, in theory. It's an old house, it's likely to happen eventually.

[aenseidhe]

Skin cats. How hideous.

[ he's trying to imagine this, and it seems comically terrible. huh. ]

I'll take one.

[inagutterson]

Y'know leather that's been treated 'til it goes real soft? Like that. Reckon you need to bath 'em so that'll be fun.

[Meanwhile experienced nug wrangler that he is, he doubts he'll have a problem.]

D'you wanna come pick one?

[sulena]

You paint quite the picture. Unfortunately, I do not have the means to care for one currently but I would very much love to come by and see them.

[inagutterson]

Come on by then, my door won't be locked but it'll be closed. They're small slinky buggers and I don't want 'em to think 'oh what's out there' 'cause I don't trust half the folk outside in the halls.

[iceblade]

This I have to see! Mind if I bring my nuglet? I'd like to know if they'd get along before agreeing to take on another hairless whatever.

[inagutterson]

There's twenty nugs in here just mind that kittens nip and don't pull their claws in.

[wythersake]

Would pleased goblins have been kinder?

[ he doesn't object to cats on principle. he does object to anyone enabling anders' very real cat problem, by which he means: isaac's desk's very real cat problem. ]

What were you doing looking for goblins?

[inagutterson]

I didn't label the sack, thought I was getting ghasts to eat at first.

[This, of course his tone implies, being the only thing you do with ghasts.]

I weren't looking for 'em, just got left with my name by my door mate so now I'm trying to do right by the little buggers.

[eruit]

I would be glad to take one, if they have no other home.

[ Hairless cats... It seems like something he might be able to manage.

A cat is a cat. ]

[inagutterson]

D'you wanna come pick one Serah…

[Who are you stranger do you have time to be questioned about all your life choices are you suitable for one of these goblins???]

what are timelines this is post-wyverns/flemythal

[elegiaque]

Would you bring me one, Yngvi? Save it til you haven't got an armload to keep corralled.

hurls a beartrap at the timelines

[inagutterson]

There's one weird one, seems up your alley. D'you want me to bring it? Where are you anyway I can't keep up.

[chainlightning]

Kittens! Wrinkle kittens! Oh, how cute!

[ As if Merrill wouldn't think they were cute. ]

I suppose the alienage could use a mouser... oh, I don't know, but can I come and see them either way?

[inagutterson]

Reckon you can find your way up here?

[He heard stories about you.]

Be a bit before they're mousers, not much bigger'n mice right now. Course you can come see the sausages.