(no subject)

[champions]

FORM: crystal
SENDER: Marisol & Finch
RECIPIENT: everyone
WHAT:

WHEN: during the mission to Ferelden
WHERE: somewhere, Ferelden
NOTES: sorry, Finch.

Oh, colleagues, friends. Esteemed Inquisition members and orbiting loiterers. I have a question for you; a matter of function and form.

And napkins.

And delicate masculinity, imperiled by investment in attire. Finch and I have been discussing a deeply controversial topic, one that I fear may chill you all to the core. This could be what strengthens the Inquisition and brings us together as an effective force to defeat the evils of this world, or could see us forever divided and scattered to the winds of uncertainty.

( Aghast: ) It’s not del — how’s it delicate not wanting to sew a bib on half your chest? Can’t be the Banns actually dress like this. Not dribbling on themselves. They’ve got, I don’t know, servants for that.

(She sounds concerned. )

Have you been recently dribbled on?

( Not that concerned, though. ) Moving on— ruffles, Inquisition. Serah Finch asserts that there is never time or place for tasteful ruffles, which I must add, do not resemble bibs.

I washed it! That’s the point!

( Dribbling. )

Look. You’re all — ( Insane? But you can’t say that out loud. ) — Worldly, how long do you reckon we’ve got before someone catches their fancy sleeves on fire?

( Quietly, ) I think perhaps you missed a spot, there’s a little something—

( And perhaps it is possible to imagine her leaning over to (pretend to?) wipe something off his face. )

( The scuffling thump of someone toppling abruptly off a horse. )

Material properly fashioned - whether in ruffles or drapery or whatever fine form it may take - is not an inherent fire hazard. Competence and poise are key.

( Helpfully, ) And they might cushion your fall, sometimes. A thought for next time.

Comments

[coquettish_trees]

[ Lexie is h e a v i l y on Marisol’s side, naturally ]

One may certainly catch their ruffles aflame, albeit in much the same manner that a man cut himself with a blade he is untrained in. As you would presumably blame not the knife for the difficulties of its bearer, I pray you blame not the clothing for the difficulties of its wearer!

[justnice]

Only if it's a knife in the first place. This is more — cutting something up with a spoon, maybe it sort of works, but it's still a daft choice.

[coquettish_trees]

What is it that you think clothing is chosen for?

[champions]

Thank you, I am relieved to hear a voice of reason.

[justnice]

Then she can wear them.

[exequy]

[ To Finch, but not private, because what is the point of this if Marisol can't hear it: ]

Is she bullying you?

[champions]

No, Finch is being lovely.

[justnice]

[ muffled, over a shoulder — ]

Don't ask him, barely wears his own,

[ SOME people need to use the broom closets for actual brooms ]

[justice_is_blond]

I'm certain when you're pushing seventy, eighty, there's a place for neck ruffles, like neck bibs.

[justnice]

Right. And no one even gets that old, so we can chuck it out entire.

[justice_is_blond]

Some do, but hardly any. So we certainly shouldn't see them around often at all. What brought up the debate?

[rathercommon]

[ Obviously, this is a topic that doesn't need to be discussed, there are so many things going on that are so much more important -- ]

I've never seen a ruffle that didn't look pompous and stupid.

[justnice]

[ RIGHT thank you stranger ]

It's all — 'Lookit me, look at all the extra kerchiefs I've got, thought I'd stitch them on my sleeves instead of pulling them out of one'. Like some sleight-of-hand man who hasn't got it worked out yet.

[rathercommon]

And they always look so bloody pleased with themselves. Like they look quite fine, instead of like a dreadful failed illusionist.

[aventuriere]

I confess I've never much cared for ruffles on a man. There's something to be said for the confidence, of course, but they don't flatter the physique of those who have it, nor conceal the lack for those who don't.

[justnice]

[ p a u s e ]

What does, uh, flatter it?

[champions]

But when they can pull it off—

( chef finger kiss etc, but unseen. Somehow it is conveyed in tone. )

[altusimperius]

[altusimperius]

Sorry, what is the question?

[swordproof]

I have never worn ruffles. [ Curiously: ] Should I have?

[champions]

I think it is always worth experimenting. They are not for all, and in some cases can be horrific, but some can carry them off beautifully, and tastefully applied? Divine.

[motherfucking_ghost]

No.

[church maybe add a little more than that buddy]

That's no to ruffles. Ruffles on men, ruffles on women, ruffles on dogs, the only good ruffle is, like...a ruffled skirt? And even then you gotta be careful how you do those. Maybe ruffles on gowns. Bridal gowns. That's about it. Ruffles elsewhere are just too much.

You wanna look fancy? Guys? Get a three piece suit. That's a jacket, vest, and pants that all match and look nice. Nice buttoned collared shirt underneath. Tie. Shined shoes. Cufflinks. You don't need ruffles to make a getup look fancy.

[justnice]

What's the point of it all matching?

[exsecutus]

I don't feel very chilled.

[Just sayin'.]

Hire him a manservant, Marisol. All the flies, one slap.

[champions]

You know, I’ve heard the term “manservant” used as a euphemism.

( Anyway, )

You do not feel chilled because you are the very sun incarnate.