[Mal sighed again, deeply, and then made a frustrated noise as she rubbed her hands over her face.]

If I break it, does it mean I can't go back? That I can never be a Circle mage again? I would hate that. I don't ...I chose this life. I want to study magic with fellow mages, safe from the outside world, where they are safe from me.

I want to control who I am - what I am - and be safe. I just. I don't know how to do that in this world.