sending crystal;

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Dwarf stuff
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Kirkwall; lurking about some dark corner
NOTES: possible tw for questionable child-rearing and discussions of violence

Right, gotta ask since it's been nigglin' me like a loose tooth for a bit now Inquisition, what d'you all know about dwarves? Rifters you don't get a free pass unless you fell out the skies yesterday, s'not like we're a rare sight but, y'know, 'specially since we've been here a while now and-- [there's a little edge to his voice, he coughs to clear that, can't sound like he gives a shit, just the damp and the smoke lingering yeah?] you've been with lots of dwarves. Lot of my family even!

Might get invited to Sunday dinner if you play your cards right but word to the wise, maybe don't? Politely decline. But not too polite yeah? [Don't know what you'll be served on a Darktown dinner table do you now?]

Comments

[theexile]

Have people spoken false tales of dwarves lately?

[She's curious to know what brought this about.]

[inagutterson]

Depends on what you call false and what you call tales and what sort of dwarves.

[Hi Kattrin please meet the sphinx he's reached this point of meltdown by now sorry.]

[theexile]

[He can't see it but she smiles some.]

They must vary then and not be all so favorable. They sound like they may be as stretched as those about Avvar.

[inagutterson]

Avvar are humans, big humans, mostly off up somewhere else. Not here. Where everyone is. Living around them or under them. Getting them lyrium, getting them rid of lyrium, fetching and whatever, but all dwarves are just dwarves it's--

[He doesn't know exactly but he doesn't like it and he wants it to just stop or he wants himself to stop but he can't get himself to do that yet.]

[theexile]

[She could comment on what stories she's actually judged for but she won't. Because right now this is about what is bothering him.]

Dwarves are more than dwarves. You are beyond what anyone attempts to name you as. I do not know you well but I know this to be true of you.

[inagutterson]

Carta. [Coming out as more of a cough or a curse, hacked up out the bottom of his lungs. Some things trump everything else about you, have that funny way of being bigger than you because they're sewn so tight into the fabric of your being there's no picking them apart.] Not about names or lack of, this is...there's a whole nation of dwarves that wouldn't go calling me a dwarf, don't exist to them, or others as needed.

You don't know me. I got dwarves to come clear up red lyrium here. [Is that guilt making his voice fragile as shattered glass he's about to step on in bare feet? Who knows, what's he ever had to feel guilty about in his life before now.]

[theexile]

[She knows little about the carta save for what rumors have been around the holds but even then she cannot be bothered by them. Instead, she goes quiet a moment. Perhaps it isn't the same but she does know that there is an entire people who will never call her Avvar, will never believe she exists, and so on.]

Mm. We know little of each other but I hear the weight you carry as you speak.

[inagutterson]

What weight? You mean the coat? True, but that's what happens when you choose this sort of life, gotta carry it with you y'know.

[Panic throttles him for a moment because how did she hear that? Do other people hear that? What are they hearing? Is he just so accustomed to it that he doesn't these days?]

Must be imagining it there mate, your thing's a sad business but I've got all my bits intact y'know. Still here. At dinner. With Jim and Snorri and the rest all the bloody time. [Doesn't he sound just thrilled about that.]

[theexile]

[He thinks he's being clever but really he wears his heart on his sleeve with the tone he uses. She knows she could says as much. In the end though, she just...let's it go.]

I am not so sure I would call mine sad. The exile was by my own choice.

[Seriously. She exiled herself from her own people. That's literally what happened, Yngvi.]

[inagutterson]

[All the years of being taught certain lessons about how to be and how not to be undone by the Boneflayers and living in the world, by the Inquisition, by coming home to see just how bad a thing is, how unfair what happened to you was, that none of it was right, that none of it will ever be right.]

But it's...like...right it's just that aren't there some things that go in. And stick in. Because they make you. And they're old things. Really old things. And you think maybe you could pull them out but if you went to start tryin' then it'd be tuggin' a loose thread on a scarf and it unravels and you try to stop it, you try really fuckin' hard but it's spillin' out of your hands and you're chasin' it and-- and--

[And he actually can't breathe and he's sweating and his heart is pounding up in his throat as all of him starts to feel shaky but like he's sort of not even there so that's. Great.]

[theexile]

[There's a long silence on her end. His words are jumbled but she somehow understands them. They speak to her in their own way even if their circumstances differ.

A sigh is heard.]

Are you alone?

[inagutterson]

[At this point while Yngvi has attempting to get himself together, his lady has heard enough and stepped in. Which is what he needs honestly.]

I won't be. [Short bursts, deep breaths between.] Goin' to the Gallows. My room. Lots of nugs. Friend'll be there. Quiet. Thanks.

[theexile]

[Good. She was worried she'd have to go looking for him.]

Take some time to rest. This talk is...a lot to take in for some.

[Namely you.]