{ CLOSED }

[aceso]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Christine Delacroix
RECIPIENT: Any of her CR still left in the Dark AU. She wouldn't send this to the whole Inquisition, so it's sort of locked?
WHAT: Just asking what's shakin'.
WHEN: Cloudreach 13th 9:48
WHERE: random hidden spot in the Frostbacks
NOTES: Christine's mental state has deteriorated so she'll be erratic, angry, and possibly not easy to talk to.

[ Every waking moment hurts and yet Christine lingers on. For the last two years, she's been slowing the spread of her red lyrium corruption with healing magic, but most days she can't remember to do it now. Her head is full of a song and the longer she focuses on it, the deeper she sinks into it. But some days she awakes in pain and her head is clear enough to focus for a little while. Today she grips her crystal tight in her claw-shaped hand, red spikes of lyrium jutting out through her skin from where they're fused with her bones. ]

It is me.

[ Her voice should be easy to recognize. It now sounds like two voices at once, too close together to be an echo, and with a humming sound woven through as well. ]

What news?

Comments

locked;

[foxsays]

[For a few moments there is the sound of waves before the sound is muffled by a door being shut, locked tight. It pays to be paranoid but she can give Christine something they spoke about what feels like a lifetime ago.]

Hola, it has been some time, no? I am still at sea, there are more and more dreadnoughts than I ever thought to see in one lifetime.

[aceso]

Yes, some time. ...I think.

[ The days tend to blend together now. She can hardly tell one from the next. ]

It is funny. We were always told the Qun was the greatest threat to southern Thedas. Turns out we were wrong.

[foxsays]

And you are safe as you can be, wherever it is that you are? You are not entirely alone?

[Honestly Christine if it makes you feel any better, stress and sleep deprivation are doing that all the way across land and sea in Lloymerynn.]

Try telling that to some people. [It's an irritated mutter, a pause following.] Lo siento, ignore that. They are a real enough threat for this part of the work since they are more of a power on the waters; you will remember how the Inquisition lost their whole fleet. I hear less about rifter bounties but I am unsure how many of them are left.

[She lost the Outsider first then Church, people just like her who fell into this world that she loved so dearly and those were bitter losses to swallow stacked with everything else.]

[aceso]

Cullen is here, but I cannot say who takes care of whom. He is as bad as I am.

[ Some days they seem like friends and others like enemies; the red lyrium has changed who they once were, and it's a struggle to regain pieces of the past. ]

The rifters... [ Her voice trails off and she thinks of those lost, especially her Church. Or was that a hallucination? Nonono, that was real. Araceli gave her the news. She remembers now. ] The Venatori have plenty of hands, in any case.

[foxsays]

The commander still lives? I had thought-- I am a long way from so many people, I hear whatever I hear and try my best to make sense of it. Is he as you are? Your voice is not as I remember it.

[Maybe Christine doesn't remember when Araceli would have asked the question more delicately but now she prefers cold hard fact.]

Everything is a question of supply and demand, the latter outstrips the former with most these days when it comes to near enough everything that isn't blood and bone, anger and grief. I do not know what they are doing with any of it. If it's the same as what they did before. If such resources can be spared for a thing such as that in these times though there are surely those who would justify a way. None have ever made it so far as these islands or the ships, so… [Her sigh is heavy, exhausted. When did she last sleep? Two days ago? Three?] I don't know if that's good or bad.

[aceso]

He is. I would not be around any who could still catch this from me.

[ Because she still believes it can pass through the air, from her breath to another's. That has to be why so many hear the sweet song it sings, yes? ]

There is a great demand for supplies everywhere, but it does not matter to me. My thirst is unquenchable not matter what I drink, or how often.

[ Just one of the many pains she's suffering right now. The red lyrium is truly evil.

She pauses, taking in all Araceli says. She can't really remember much about the woman. Even the feautures of her face have begun to fade away, but she thinks she remembers curly hair. Pretty, curly hair. Christine touches her own hair. What's left feels as dry as straw, and chunks have fallen out as the crystals crawled into her head and up through her scalp. ]

It is probably a good thing, to be as untouched by all this as you can be.

[foxsays]

The risk must be much greater now. I will remind those I know to limit contact with Red Templars and to continue burning their bodies whenever they might be encountered. Precautions have been taken for-- for what is to come?

[Even if it's inevitable, that doesn't mean she has to want to think about it. Not Christine who had hair as gold as a new coin, who was patient and gentle and kind in her recovery.]

How far gone are you Christine?

[It sounds so much worse than she imagined but she missed the beginning of it.]

Even if I still had my name and my hand, they wouldn't recognise me now. The world changed so quickly and when I looked up so had I, and it was not the world I had fallen into and built a life in. Now I am not the woman so many made a friend of and Korrin fell in love with. I don't think she even knows me half the time and unless something calls her away, she is here. There is not a soul untouched now.

[aceso]

[ There's an odd sound that's close to a sob, but then she laughs. ]

Oh, I have lost half my mind already. The other half will go soon. The red crystals grow out of me now. I am twisted and hideous.

[ Christine's always had a vain side, and now she can't help but lament her lost beauty. It's just another grievance to add to the list. ]

I am glad I left before they could all see what I have become. Church would have borne it all, but I would not let him.

[ She couldn't risk infecting him; couldn't risk losing her mind and lashing out. And this healer -- who spent long nights watching over patients -- couldn't stand the thought of Church having to take care of her as she slowly turned into a monster. ]

I did not want him to watch me die.

[ She heaves a pained sigh. ]

But is there still love there between you? Does she take you as you are now?

[foxsays]

Do you think we are close enough to what we said, you and I? You are high in the mountains and I am out at sea? I am sorry I didn't sail to the edges of the map but-- but I have seen many things. You are very brave. You always were. You aren't them. The things that put people in cages in the snow or attacked so many of us time and time again. No one--

[No. She is not going to cry. What is more salt to the sea, she might have said once but she can't now. She just can't. What if she starts and never stops, if she just drowns herself on dry land from it?]

No one could ever have asked more of you. What you did Christine-- [What you became, they both hear her not saying that, don't they?] I will remember. I poured a whole bottle of the good stuff out for Church. I named my ship for The Outsider. I named my ship for Sina. If I am still here then, there will be something for you so you are still in this fight with us.

She says she loves all of me. And she came after me even after everything I'd done. With all the things I say and do when she has to call me another woman's name, someone she knows I was with where I co- came from. I cannot imagine why she would still be here if she didn't love me.

Private

[gatheringstorm]

[Korrin's voice eventually responds, too weary to be overly bitter. But maybe just a little.]

Hey, you.

The Qunari are still swarming over the north like a bad rash, but we're making them fight for every inch.

Still no sign of Kas. [The young scout who was like family to her disappeared just after the Qunari invasion, and was one of the reasons she went north, Araceli aside.]

[aceso]

[ They're all tired these days, aren't they? ]

Mmm. If only they would solely focus on Tevinter.

[gatheringstorm]

Saving the best for last, I guess.

There's not much left of Antiva, these days. Every time I sail over there, the entire place is a goddamn battlefield. Rivain is better...relatively.

What's going on down south?

[aceso]

It is hard to fathom the land of the Crows and the merchant princes who could always strike a bargain now drowning in Qunari.

[ She pauses and then in a faraway voice she continues. ]

Drowning, drowning; we're all drowning. Hmm? Oh, I do not know. There is barely anyone left in the Hold, last I heard from them.

[gatheringstorm]

If Zevran--

[She cuts herself off. No. Zevran is long gone, dead from whatever befell him and all those other people on that mission.]

...I'm glad he's not here to see it.

[That faraway voice has her responding with concern.]

Are you--[No, of course she's not alright. No one is, stupid question.] Is Aura still there? She'd better be.

[aceso]

[ Speaking of Zevran reminds Christine of Sam, and that hurts just as much as her body currently does. ]

All gone, all gone.

[ For a moment she hums along to the song in her head before stopping abruptly at Korrin's question. ]

What? No-- Yes! Wait. [ She growls low in her throat, angry that this fact is eluding her. ] I know it. I do. [ There's a pause before an answer appears in her mind. ] She... left. Yes, that was it. Gjurd told me the last time I saw him. She is with the Boneflayers now, but beyond that, I do not know.

[gatheringstorm]

[There's a soft sigh of relief at that.]

Good. At least they're together, I can live with that. I've sent her a couple of messages here and there, but it's been hell up here, and not much time to talk.

...how bad is it now? Tell me, Christine. [Korrin can guess, certainly, but it's her way of giving the woman an outlet if she wants one.]

[aceso]

[ She shouldn't be surprised. Korrin has always been one to get to the point without lacing things in niceties. There was a time Christine appreciated forwardness, but now she isn't so sure. It's hard to remember who she's supposed to be anymore.

The question makes her look down at her hand and the glowing crystal that sings so sweetly to her. ]

It hurts.

[ She could really just leave it at that. Everything has hurt since she left the Inquisition, in more than just physical ways. ]

The red has come to the surface. Sometimes it is all that I see. [ There's a frustrated huff, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. She's swung out a hand and knocked a wooden cup aside, but the sound doesn't satisfy her. She wants to break things. ] I keep forgetting what is real and what I have hallucinated as real. Tomorrow I will wonder if I spoke to you at all.

Forward dated after escape

[el_tybs]

Christine?

[His tone sounds both cautious and hopeful, just a tad desperate. If this borrowed crystal actually connected he wasn't sure what might greet him on the other end; he hoped it was Christine.

So many people he knew were gone, his best friend among the faces he didn't see when he made it to 'safety'.]

Christine?

[aceso]

Who is this?

[ The voice that answers might sound similar to how Inessa or Ciri sounded in Kirkwall. A sort of dual voice with a hum behind it. It also sounds very suspicious. She doesn't recognize this voice on the other end. ]

[el_tybs]

[The voice does sound familiar but a far outcry of what he remembers Christine sounding like over the crystals. The duality and hum definitely being part of the reason, but also a certain strain in the voice.]

This is Sam.

[aceso]

Sam who?

[ Because Christine only knows of one Sam, and he is long dead. ]

[el_tybs]

[He has to stop himself from saying 'you know Sam who', reminding himself that no one has heard from him for nearly five years at this point.]

Gareth. From Ferelden.

[aceso]

What? [ There's confusion in her voice. What year is it again? Is she hallucinating? That tends to happen to her now. But usually she doesn't realize it's a hallucination until it's done, when whatever she thinks she is seeing disappears before her eyes. If she really is talking to someone on this crystal, they're mocking her. ] How dare you! How dare you think to trick me! What are you, a Venatori thinking to get information out of me? It will not work, you bastard!

[el_tybs]

[Sam cringes on his end and pulls the crystal away as if it will lessen the yelling coming through. It's something he's come to expect at this point, being accused of not actually being who he is. Expected but no less stinging.

At least he was sure he was speaking to Christine.]

No tricks, Christine. I just wanted to- [Know you were alive?] know if you were- Apparently I've missed much theses five years.

[aceso]

He has been dead five years! He and the others that went on that stupid mission!

[ It took her pretty long to get over Asher's death. Sam's? She's still not over it. ]

Do not lie to me! Can you not leave a dying woman alone?