I. OPEN.

[liberalum]

FORM: Sending crystal.
SENDER: Dorian Pavus and some fans.
RECIPIENT: Everyone.
WHAT: Karma.
WHEN: Guardian 18.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: I won't actually action this one out, but we can work out by arrangement if your character would in fact like a chicken, but most will go to the barn despite this offer. Dorian just wants people to remove them. ;-;

[ Clearly, this message is being sent on slight impulse, a certain degree of stress and despair in his tone despite being delivered, initially, with somewhat sarcastic cheer. ]

It appears I have come into a sudden wealth of--

[ A brief pause, a struggle, not really wanting to say it. ]

--poultry. Livestock.

[ In the background, the gentle clucking of perfectly content chickens makes for a background to Dorian's clipped syllables, clenched teeth, the slight implication in his tone that he might laugh or cry or both, left unchecked. ]

Do come by if you would like one of these. Take as many as you can carry, you're welcome to them. They're not leaving, they just keep running back in, I swear they're following me around-- oh, look at this, just--! It laid an egg! In Nevarran satin! And feathers, everywhere, this coat was spotless, and now it looks like I've rolled around in a chicken--

[ This is the moment he realises why this is happening to him. ]

--coop. Well, I hope you're happy. [ Whether he's addressing a broody hen or Leliana is left to interpretation. ] But no, really, someone take them from-- no no no, get away from that--

[ Message ends. ]

Comments

[serannas]

Perhaps you should just let a fox loose in your room to eat the chickens.

[ It's really all she can offer, because she's not taking any. ]

[liberalum]

Then I'd have a fox in my room and pieces of chicken. Tempting a solution though that might be, I'd sooner forfeit the space and go back to sleeping under a library desk.

[serannas]

Well, if the Nevarran silk is already ruined, what more harm could it do?

[ She makes an amused noise. ]

Go back? You've slept under a library desk before?

[liberalum]

Ha, well.

[ That does sound unusual, doesn't it. ]

When we all first arrived and Skyhold was essentially a rocky shell of a ruin, I fashioned something of a tent for myself. Not to mention those final nights before exams in Minrathous-- [ Absent fond musing, temporarily forgetting chicken hell. ]

Libraries are warm and quiet, what can I say? Typically, anyway.

[serannas]

Sounds cozy. As long as there wasn't a draft.

[ Forgetting chicken hell is good, right up until a chicken craps on his boots. ]

Hopefully your spot is still free. Who knows who might have taken the desk for their own tent since then?

[liberalum]

Of course there was a draft, but then, there were inescapably drafts everywhere. Most of the holes are bricked up properly now, at least. But I've since staked a claim for a comfier corner.

[ There's a nice chair and everything. ]

I may need it, until the smell of barnyard has cleared away.

[serannas]

Well, I'm used to sleeping outside, so having a room now is a nice change. No drafts there either.

[ She and Sabriel had worked to brick up the walls with their magic. ]

That is unlucky. You'll definitely need to air out the fabrics.

[liberalum]

[ He makes a sound of grudging agreement, the kind that implies that laundry is the worst way anyone can spend their time. ]

[serannas]

[ She manages not to laugh, but her voice sounds amused as she speaks. ]

Do you have any idea who could have pulled this prank on you?

[ Because remind Ellana to never, ever piss them off. ]