Pantsless in Low Town | [open]

[intruthandlove]

FORM: Sending Crystals
SENDER: Diana Prince
RECIPIENT: you poor unfortunate souls
WHAT: Diana finds a fight club and it goes about as well as can be expected.
WHEN: nowish
WHERE: Low Town
NOTES: I am a Serious RPer,

[ Here is the voice of a woman that may be familiar to some as that strange dark haired Rifter who punched a demon a month ago and to others that strange dark haired woman who's been running courier jobs and fighting in allies when she isn't working basic labor for the Inquisition.  Surprisingly, she does not sound like someone who would do either of those things. ]

I can not say I've learned as much of this land as I would have liked in my relatively short time here.  However, very recently, two things have become abundantly clear to me.

One; if a suspicious person offers you something too good to be true, it is most certainly a trap.  I knew this one already, but it's a comfort to know this is a truth that transcends dimensions.

Two; in following the suspicious person to investigate, it is important to remember one's own limitations and plan accordingly.

For instance, if one suddenly finds themselves in an underground cage match, it's prudent to bring something to wear that is not easily destroyed.  Further, taking the literal high road is not always the best course of action when one's opponents is firing sheets of ice at you.

[ She sounds largely unperturbed for a woman who's currently frozen to a rooftop.]

If one of you wouldn't mind finding another spare set of trousers, I'd be very grateful.

Comments

[thecookery]

What the fuck?

[An entirely necessary and helpful response, obviously.]

[intruthandlove]

[ It is the most helpful and entierly necessary response. ]

I'm frozen to a roof, my clothes did not survive the trip.

[ Okay there was a lot more involved, but she's trying to be succinct here. ]

[thecookery]

Tell me you're joking.

[intruthandlove]

Please believe me when I say I would dearly love to tell you I was joking.

[thecookery]

Andraste's tits...

Ugh, fine. See what I can do.

[intruthandlove]

I am very grateful to you for it.

[thecookery]

Aye. Sounds as if you'll owe me after.

[intruthandlove]

Happily, so long as you're not the sort interested in betting on fights to the death. I find I've had quite enough of that for one night.

[thecookery]

Fair enough. Another time then.

[The sarcasm, it is real.]

[poleaxe]

[uhhhhhhhhh]

[you know what, whatever]

If you'll make sure nobody thinks I stole 'em, sure.

[intruthandlove]

[ listen she is having a Night. ]

I will happily defend your honor. Particularly for a new pair of trousers.

[poleaxe]

To the Void with my honor, defend my job.

[hilarious joke.]

Where are you, anyway?

[intruthandlove]

Ioane, when I am in the position to, I will happily defend anything you like.

[ She still sounds more bemused than anything, because really. She has fought literal gods and some schmuck with a twitchy staff is the one who gets her. ]

In Lowtown, on a roof. I'm afraid I can't be more specific, the vantage point makes it a little difficult to tell.

[poleaxe]

Yeah, just shout a bit, I'll find you.

...You got shoes, or you loose 'em in the war too?

[justice_is_blond]

Duels with mages generally... are tricky, yes. Were you attacked, or did you enter in to the match willingly?

[Because it matters a lot where mages are concerned.]

[intruthandlove]

[ She feels you won't like the answer to this, Anders. ]

I am very positive it was not a duel, but you could certainly say that I started the fight with that specific gentleman.

[justice_is_blond]

[It's better than it could be, really. A mage just attacking someone would be bad news.]

May I ask why you started the fight?

[intruthandlove]

It was more of an incidental thing. He happened to be in the way of the chair I threw at the door while trying to rally the other fighters against the crowd.

[ ...Wait... ]

Are gladiatorial battles something that exists in this world?

[justice_is_blond]

...In the way of the chair. That you threw. To rally fighters. Against a crowd. What on Thedas did you walk into? I've no idea what a gladiatorial battle is, but perhaps they are if that's what you call this sort of a mess. Are you clear of it?

[intruthandlove]

Oh certainly, it's mostly sorted itself out. There were mostly sell swords and the like in there with me, I think, and as far as I can tell from here they've all wandered off now that the fighting hall is destroyed.

[justice_is_blond]

Well. I'm glad it's sorted, and that the mage wasn't the one to start everything, at least.

[universal_charm]

I wonder what it says about me that I really have just learned to accept this sort of thing at face value and I'm not even surprised.

[intruthandlove]

That you are a very adaptable person, no doubt. Unless this sort of thing is a regular occurrence in this dimension too?

[universal_charm]

Well, I mean, I'm not sure about your particular situation exactly, but the situation in general? Yeah, seems like it.

[el_tybs]

...

[Give him a moment. It's taking a moment to piece together something to say to this.]

You decided to follow a suspicious person in Kirkwall? Alone? And ended up in a... fight? In a cage? Al

[intruthandlove]

When you say it like that it sounds ridiculous.

[el_tybs]

More then that it sounds dangerous. More so since it sounds like you're not from Thedas?

[He's guessing at this. A Rifter?]

[meds4sale]

One does live and learn.

Has someone come to help you or shall I fetch some hot coals?

[intruthandlove]

It has been a very educational night.

I should be able to break free, if no one can find me, but hot coals wouldn't be amiss, thank you.

[meds4sale]

I will be there as promptly as possible.

...If you can tell me where 'there' is. Relatively.

[Shouldn't be too hard to spot someone frozen to a roof once he was in the general area.]

[nonsibi]

[what the]

Kind of hard to just suddenly find yourself in a cage match. You'd have to walk into a cage at one point, at least.

[intruthandlove]

They had that fall from the ceiling on top of us. It was impressively dramatic. I did know about the fighting part beforehand, that's why I went.

[nonsibi]

Yeah, okay. But then the advice about bringing something to wear doesn't really apply. You can't prepare for what you don't expect.

[But also:]

You get those trousers yet?

[kartereo]

[Waver is...impressed. And very much trying not to laugh, which isn't going so well.]

Hang on, you have actual limitations?

[Mostly a joke, and now he lets out a short, sharp laugh.]

Have you been inundated with help yet, or should I get on trouser duty?

[intruthandlove]

[ It's fine, someone needs to laugh at this, Diana's still boggling at the fact that it happened. ]

Oh certainly. Just not the ones I expect to have when I'm not fighting giant screaming statues, or so it would seem.

I have had offers, thank you, but I will say that another lesson I've learned from this place so far is that it's incredibly unkind to my wardrobe. A spare or five don't seem to be amiss.

[kartereo]

I feel like ten would probably be the better number. Especially if you plan on getting into these kinds of situations on a regular basis.

[He pauses, then frowns.]

You don't plan to get into this kind of things on a regular basis, right?

[doneisdone]

I may have a few scraps available. What can you pay?

[Pants to the rescue. Cage fighting, frozen to a roof? Not an issue even worth mentioning.]