A SURVEY

[aventuriere]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Baroness Frédérique Durfort-Lacapalette, Brother Jehan Mercier, and Valentine Nicasius Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Important questions
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Everywhere
NOTES: Please threadjack

Inquisition, we have a question for you.

[ DO NOT SILENCE YOUR CRYSTALS. That is an Orlesian voice, but it is not Val de Foncé's voice. Instead, it is the voice of a woman, which makes it immediately superior. You are probably safe. Maybe. Keep listening. ]

You see, we are scholars. The best of scholars! And this Inquisition, it offers the most magnifique opportunities to learn more of this world and we, my friends, we are here to take on that most noble challenge!

We are conducting a study. [ From the tavern. ] Which of Thedas' nations is your favorite? Le plus fantastique? [ A pause, some murmuring reminder while the crystal is covered with a hand. ] You may not say Orlais, and you must explain why, pour l'étude.

[ HERE is Val’s voice. Please keep listening. ]



You may not say Orlais because we already know that it is Orlais. We have been to Orlais, many times. [ A voice cuts in, dry: ] We are even from Orlais, in case you had not guessed. [ From, you know. The really obvious accents. ] For this, we seek other answers. Answers that are more diverse. Perhaps it is better to say second best? Second favorite? With, naturally, Orlais being the favorite. We are, you see, all in disagreement.

It is threatening to tear us apart, when we have only just been brought back together.

Yes, because you are wrong. If you would cease to be so wrong, we would not be torn apart!

No, you are-- Ah, courage, my friends! We must not be torn apart. [ There is some shuffling and oofing. It is possible that arms are being thrown about shoulders and necks are being squeezed. ] Inquisition, we turn to you, on behalf of our reunion, and the great Baroness Haut-Brion.

If you answer our question we will permit you to call her Freddie.

You will permit nothing, but I may permit it, if your answers are particularly clever.

Also, for a bet-- [ Should Chantry Brothers make bets? Shh. Should Chantry Brothers pause while speaking to drink wine? Shhhhh. ] How many times per day is it reasonable to pray? Suppose that you are also reasonably faithful.

Suppose that you are a madman, a holy madman--

And that you desire nothing more than to be Andraste's second husband and like Maferath to be cuckolded by the Maker himself--

[ Should Chantry brothers dump wine over the heads of their friends? Shhhhhhhhh. ]

Comments

[degenere]

Dull. She meant dull.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Sam, you are so very sweet! Thank you so much. Of course that means you're important too.

[byblow]

If you'd like to go petition the Queen—

[ Rising intonation there, be my guest implied.

But: ]

Don't. It's fine.

[degenere]

You did.

[el_tybs]

I think that is the point of sharing. Unless you wanted to fight for them.

[That has Sam giving a bark of laughter. He is only joking about that.]

[judgemewhole]

I suppose I am. You are not the first to say it. Although I never thought anyone would agree with Anders on anything ...

[el_tybs]

I most certainly did not. I said he didn't need to read off paper to give a speech.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Well of course I will!

[Don't be silly, Alstair. Fereldan is your home and you're a Warden so you shouldn't worry about getting beheaded or something.]

[degenere]

A wonderful title, if you're interested in such things.

Tell me. In your telling, was Nevarra so similarly expelled?

[judgemewhole]

If we're going to fight it is going to be fair. Drinking contest, serah.

[degenere]

Accuracy. Full credit to the charms.

I do like mabari.

[el_tybs]

...

Hm. Guess I cannot argue against my own argument. I don't let it get to my head.

[degenere]

Oh, no. As a whole. Being so vain, I only wanted all of the credit for myself. Of all the souls of Orlais, my vanity is unmatched.

[degenere]

Why not simply visit the cultures themselves?

[judgemewhole]

Actually, Nevarra rose to it's own power and became a nation without any help from the other Free Cities. However that did mean when they came here to try and conquer us, we sent out the Hero of Tantervale who firmly trounced him back to Nevarra.

That was in 8:82 Blessed, in case you were wondering.

[el_tybs]

Perfectly good arguments to have with friends.

I don't have to dream it to know it.

[aventuriere]

Luthor, I have heard that name. Did you publish a paper about the potential for a pan-Thedosian culture?

[degenere]

Please, do not be mistaken. I didn't say it. Freddie did. She is so critical of the dull, but to be fair, it is only because she is so very charming.

[el_tybs]

That seems rigged. I've only started drinking this past year.

[degenere]

Which is a very kind way of disguising his academic malady, to be sure, you are a true friend and a credit to him, but the fact remains fact.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

So you don't like the ale, or our apple tarts and roast venison, or the trees in fall, or the rustic charm of Redcliffe? The open shore, rocky and beautiful, from Amarathine and all along the Storm Coast? The beauty of Lake Calanhad? The history, the warmth of our rolling hills, and the strength and endurance, that we can survive anything? That we have a thousand tales, each one more mysterious after another?

Mabari are fantastic.

[degenere]

How illuminating!

So, would you say that Nevarra, in a way, expelled the Free Marches first?

[justice_is_blond]

I beg your pardon. It's warm, unlike these blightedly cold lands, and it's far more beautiful than mud and muck.

[justice_is_blond]

...That's it.

Really.

First opportunity we have, I'm taking you to see the beauty of it.

[degenere]

Ah. So where you are from, they esteem land only by the people that live upon it. Mademoiselle, that is quite reductive.