crystal.

[cozen]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Wild and lawless threadjacking is eternally encouraged.

Good morning. I thought I would share some updates on the state of our reputation.

The best news first: out of twenty-seven mentions in this batch of periodicals, twenty of those referenced us in passing and as if there is nothing strange about us whatsoever. That is an improvement. There was a time half of those would have added, parenthesis, an assortment of demons and heretics, close parenthesis, to make sure their readers could follow their meaning. Now we are simply Riftwatch. They expect people to know what that means — which does not mean no one thinks we are demons and heretics. Of course. But they are being reminded less frequently.

Which does unfortunately lead me to Senior Enchanter Verain, formerly of the Circle in Montsimmard, who published an essay in L'hebdomadaire about the state of Thedas in general and gave us an entire paragraph.

[ He clears his throat and takes on the distinct cadence of a Dramatic Reading. ]

These monstrous threats to our safety and security are nothing new, but I am astonished, dismayed, and confounded by our acceptance of monstrous heroes. Even among my own friends, who I once thought the pinnacle of reason, discernment, and steadfast belief in the tenants of the Chant of Light, and in fact befriended because of these qualities, there are those who are shockingly content to trust the fabric of the Veil to creatures who can be nothing but demons and people who have done nothing but enable them. It is no wonder that our dereliction of our own duty in this matter has led us to this devastating moment of truth, dangling from a precipice by grip of a single finger as the Veil and the entire order of our world unravel and rot before our eyes, but I must nevertheless maintain a desperate hope that we will rise to the occasion and not permit these self-professed saviors and secret saboteurs to deliver the killing blow.

So, [ drama over, ] if everyone could stop acting demonic in public, I would appreciate it. But I do like the part where he wants other people to do anything to help. Maybe we should invite him for dinner or something. Do any of you mages know him? Has he always mixed his metaphors?

Here, this one is better, though. Local. An anonymous gossip pamphlet floating around Hightown this week. It says, To the long list of things for which we owe Riftwatch our gratitude, we must add the facades and physiques of their membership. I find myself making excuses to wander into parts of our city I would normally never be spotted, hoping for a glimpse of young brunette ladies who could so clearly lift me above their heads if given cause — which I am happy to provide if any would like to reach out to my publisher and arrange a rendezvous — and one of my dear friends' desire to train a spyglass on the harbor and search for the dark-haired elven man in their ranks, I believe, is single-handedly keeping a local glassworker in business.

Not everyone has lost sight of what is important in the world, you see.

The rest of these are pretty dull, but I am bookmarking our mentions and filling a shelf in the library in case anyone is curious.

Comments

[favoriteanalyst]

And how are you organizing that shelf, messere? By date published? By country of origin? A sliding scale of negative to positive? Alphabetized by publisher name?

[cozen]

[ Oh my god Mobius you can't just ask people how they're organizing things. ]

Is this because I didn't ask you first?

[favoriteanalyst]

I'm an avid fan of archiving what people are saying about us! I'm only asking if there's a certain methodology to the collection's display. So I can maintain its integrity, see.

[cozen]

It is,

[ how to put this, ]

in the order I read it, then shuffled because I picked up the stack in sections. I had to move some of the tracts and broad sheets around so the quarterlies would hold them up, too, because they were, you know, flopping.

[extortionate]

Owl beak'll help with that.

[laruetheday]

[ waaaait a minute ]

That was anonymous?

[dirthsal]

I don't like this.

[cozen]

Will it,

[ simultaneously skeptical and game. ]

[cozen]

Mmhm. I could find the author, though, if you want. I have ways.

[cozen]

I am certain there is some degree of hyperbole.

[laruetheday]

What? No.

[ you're gonna get her in trouble, jeez. ]

[youwonscience]

[It's not funny, so she's definitely not suppressing a laugh.]

Wow, I thought people got bored of are rifters demons? years ago, what a throwback. But hey, at least we've progressed to being both hot and demonic. I think we could get hotter, collectively, if we put our minds to it.

[extortionate]

Gotta powder it. Take it an hour before. And check it's not a chicken beak, because those char-la-tans in town'll rip you off. You want it direct from the source, I got a line on owls —

[extortionate]

Got a conflict of interest?

[extortionate]

Could tape a sign to your back.

[extortionate]

Tails. Demons got tails, you could try that.

[grindset]

It's always bird-grinding with you.

[dirthsal]

It's weird even without hyperbole.

[dirthsal]

That says what, "Keep your eyes to yourself, shemlen"?

[extortionate]

For all you know it's an elf. Came outta Hightown, didn't it? When's the last time you met anyone in Hightown does their own work?

[extortionate]

[ what's that? the rustling of the wind? it must be, because someone who gave his friend the blight in a dream surely wouldn't be joking around — ]

[laruetheday]

What's it to you?

[extortionate]

Apparently, it's a matter of reputation.

[laruetheday]

Nice try.

[bouchonne]

Please. Call them charl-owl-tans.