Perpetual silence. Because I didn't even know it was a crush.

[ This could be sad, but there's a real unfeigned amusement in Byerly's manner. ]

Not too many lads kissing lads, where I came from. So I kept trying to figure out why it was I kept wanting to look at the boy. Surely there was something strange that was catching my attention. It took a few years - after I'd actually kissed my first lad - that it made sense.