[ Viktor, he adores you but please stop talking. ]

Sir, you have our deepest apologies. Viktor and I take full responsibility for the emotional distress caused by our actions. If there is any compromise to the structural integrity of your residence, we’ll work to address it as soon as leadership is debriefed.

[ The most property damage one can expect comes from whatever may have rattled off the walls—

—and hopefully no one sleeps beneath their bookshelf. ]