therookery | OPEN - Sending Crystal, entire Inquisition

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OPEN - Sending Crystal, entire Inquisition

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Nathaniel Howe
RECIPIENT: EVERYONE
WHAT: A game
WHEN: Forward-dated to around the 11th
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Any number of things could go wrong here.

[A breath, like someone is about to speak. Instead, there is a bit of wheezing, a bit of coughing. Then, a rough voice made rougher by illness finally comes around.]

I've been in this damn cot for three weeks now. I'm bored out of my mind. So I have an idea.

My sister and I used to play this game called "Fortunately/Unfortunately." One person starts out with a scenario they've come up with. [More dry coughing.] Such as, "I woke up today."

The next person comes up with something unfortunate about the situation, such as, "Unfortunately, it was in a prison cell."

Another person comes in, and perhaps they might say, "Fortunately, my jailor is the friendly sort."

The next person might say, "Unfortunately, my...jailor is the friendly sort."

You get the idea. I'll start.

"Fortunately, they served my favorite stew today in the kitchen."

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( Now, this is a game she can get behind. )

Unfortunately, the cook's rubbish.

Fortunately, I'm hungry enough to be grateful anyway.

Unfortunately, I still threw it up.

Fortunately, it landed right back in the bowl.

...That's disgusting.

Fortunately, Orlesians consider it une délicatesse.

[A pause, and then choking laughter.]

Unfortunately, that would make me, the subject of this story, Orlesian.

Fortunately, a Fereldan mabari ate it before you could make yourself ill with such a slanderous and highly inaccurate meal.

Unfortunately, I'm still Orlesian.

Fortunately, life is fleeting and you shall not have to endure it long. Nor we endure you.

Unfortunately, a bear came round the corner and looks very angry.

[Steeeeering this back on course.]

Fortunately, it is a tiny bear.

Unfortunately, I'm a tiny person.

[ ... Thank you Nate, he will never say, but that could have swerved somewhere sad and ugly. ]

Fortunately, I have a sword.

Unfortunately, it's flo--

[He starts choking on laughter.]

It has... no hilt. Let's go with that.

Fortunately, I'm wearing my gauntlets.

Unfortunately my gauntlets are covered in honey.

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